Attitude Adjustment 101: Nine Ways to Transform You From Mediocre to Magnificent
 by: Susan Young

“Work on your career and you’ll make a living. Work on yourself and you’ll make a fortune.”

- Jim Rohn

Regardless of the number of college credits or degrees you have, the truth is that much of your success is determined by your attitude. Education is worthwhile but a good attitude is priceless. If you search for a college that has a concentration of study entitled “Attitude,” you will come up empty handed. Yet, the world would be a better place if we could all major in “Attitude.”

If attitude is not taught in school, then how come some people have great attitudes and others don’t? More important, how can you change from a mediocre attitude to a magnificent one?

First, to adjust your attitude, you must be brutally honest with yourself and take responsibility for your attitude. You are the only one who can change you. Be accountable for who you are and how you behave. Tell yourself that blame is unacceptable.

Second, recognize warning signs like negative thoughts, blame and pessimism. Your mind is like a computer; the beliefs you put in (input) create the actions you take out (output). For example, if you tell yourself that you are “just okay,” you will be “just okay.” What you think about, you will become.

Third, use positive affirmations. Tell yourself every day that you are an outstanding person capable of achieving your goals. When the woman at the coffee shop in the morning asks how I am, I flash a big smile and reply “I’m great” or I’m outstanding.” Replace negative and mediocre with excellent and amazing. Stand up taller each morning. Breathe deeply to allow air into your diaphragm. Smile more, even at people you don’t know. Live a new level of excellence every day. Reach higher.

Fourth, your subconscious mind operates on images and pictures. Before you go to sleep, envision your ideal day. What are you doing? What are you wearing? Who are you with? Are you in a meeting, confidently speaking before your boss and colleagues? Are you on the beach playing with your children and spouse? See and feel yourself in this moment as a huge success. Do you want a new house, job or relationship? Imagine it as if it already happened.

Fifth, write down your goals. The subconscious mind kicks into action when you put your goals in writing. List three short-term and three long-term goals. Then, give your dreams deadlines (a date of accomplishment) and outline the steps you will take every day to reach your goals and dreams.

Sixth, put your head down and focus. Successful people do not spend time with negative water cooler gossip and time wasters. Set your goals and get to work.

Seventh, think about a successful person you admire. What are his or her personality traits, characteristics and values? Chances are the person who came to mind is successful because he or she decided to be positive and upbeat, to expect great accomplishments and to focus on doing whatever it takes to achieve his or her goals. Surround yourself with cheerful successful people.

Eighth, avoid “naysayers” who shoot you down, speak negatively or have poor work and personal habits.

Ninth, practice these ways to adjust your attitude for at least 21 days. That’s how long it takes to form a new habit.

President John F. Kennedy said, “The human mind is our most fundamental resource.” Your mind is a fertile garden that will grow whatever you plant in it. What seeds are you planting in your mind? Are you planting seeds of opportunity and growth or weeds like cynicism and mediocrity? Life is better when you have a good attitude. So go ahead and give yourself the chance to move from mediocre to magnificent. We all have the tools. The key is to use the resources that we have to become totally amazing!

About The Author

Susan Young is the president of Susan Young Media Relations, Inc., a New Jersey firm that promotes and publicizes businesses, non-profits and professional associations. She is a speaker and trainer covering topics such as “How to Leverage The Media” and “Communicating with Confidence.” For information, call (732) 613-4790, or visit www.sueyoungmedia.com
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Finding Your Inner Flame: Finding Passion Series - 3 of 3
 by: Skye Thomas

Why is it that some goals have a fire and a passion behind them that creates an almost self-propelled drive towards completion, while other goals are left dead in the water before they've hardly even begun? What causes that level of motivation to manifest itself? Can we harness it? Can we predict when and where it will hit? The answers lie in finding out if the person setting the goal is in touch with his or her own deepest desires. Do they really understand who and what they are? Do they really know what it is that drives them?

Write down a list of goals and dreams you've set for yourself over the years. Take a nice long trip down memory lane. Think about the kinds of goals and dreams you set for yourself when you were a child, a teenager, a young adult. Look at what kinds of goals you began listing when you became a spouse, a parent, an employee, or a boss. Don't worry if you can't remember every single goal you've ever set for yourself. Don't make the assignment into a research project and a headache. But I do want you to spend a bit of time with it.

Now that you have your list of old goals and dreams, make some kind of a checkmark or run a highlighter over the ones that had a strong powerful effect on you and you couldn't possibly put them down. These are most likely the ones that you accomplished. If you didn't accomplish them, do they still haunt you? Do they still beg to be completed? Don't start counting and keeping score as to how many you followed through to the finish and how many you let drop aside. It really doesn't matter at all what kind of a success rate you may or may not have had before today. This isn't about that, I just want you to separate the ones that did put a fire in your belly from the ones that had no fire or passion behind them.

Now, take your list of positive traits and attributes from Finding Yourself and compare it to your list of old goals and dreams. How many of the goals that had you all fired up were somehow connected to the wonderful things we found are within you? If for example, you found out that one of your positive traits is that you are intelligent, then how many of the goals you were really passionate about involved using your intelligence? How many of them were about developing or enhancing your intelligence? If you found out that you are funny, how many of the goals and dreams that you loved were somehow connected to your sense of humor?

Okay, now do the same thing with your list of things you want to be from Finding Direction. How many of those goals appealed to the roots of who or what you want to become? If you want to be remembered as adventurous, then how many goals from your past were centered around an adventurous spirit? How many of the goal you were really excited about made you feel or appear to be adventurous? If your desire is to be financially secure, then how many of your most passionate dreams were wrapped around that concept? How many of them promised to push you in that direction?

You're probably starting to get the point. The items on those first two lists spark the flame of passion needed to carry out goals and dreams. The more items from both lists that you bring into play, the more motivated you will be to finish the goal involved. Each item adds more and more of your own personal drive and inspiration to the dream. Naturally, the reverse is true too. If you had few or even none of the items from the first two lists involved in a goal or dream, you probably gave up and quit out of boredom. If it was a very important goal with a lot of guilt or pressure forcing you to do it, like going to college when you really didn't want to, then you probably struggled a lot and really had to force yourself to stay focused and motivated. You probably found yourself saying that you "ought" to complete that goal or that you "should" complete that goal. The other thing that can happen is that some outside person like your folks or a boss was hanging over your head telling you that you "ought" to do it or that you "should" do it. Only those goals that contained your own personal drive and focus were a joy to complete and had a motivation all their own that nobody else needed to spur you along.

With this information in mind, you can really look at a list of current projects you're working on and see how many of them appeal to who or what it is that you want to be and how many of them allow you to really utilize your favorite traits about yourself. Is there enough of your own personal drive behind them to insure that you go the long haul and finish them? Do you need to redesign them so that they will touch your heart in such a way as to empower you with excitement and joy to keep going through the difficult or tedious parts? If you really have to do something that you don't want to, is there a way to bring pieces of those two lists into it so that you can tolerate the task in a different light?

You should be able to evaluate your future plans against these two lists and get a fairly accurate prediction as to whether or not you're really going to stick to it. Then you can invest your time and energy in things that serve you and your need to become someone that you feel is wonderful.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
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Finding Direction: Finding Passion Series - 2 of 3
 by: Skye Thomas

In order to find the right direction for ourselves, we have to do some soul searching. What is it I want to accomplish? Why? What kind of person do I want to become? Is it so weird to be in our thirties or forties and ask ourselves, "So, what do I want to be when I grow up?" What would make us jump out of bed excited and motivated to get the day started? Before getting into these big questions, we need to find out the roots behind our decisions. What motivates us to choose what we choose?

If you could create anything you wanted without regards to money, time, or education... what would you do? What would you create if you could wave a magic wand and it would appear? What would you have? Think on that for awhile... anything at all.... Would you create vacations and the ability to travel all over the world? Would you create an education fund for your children? Would you create your dream home? Would you create a worry free retirement? Would you create a new wardrobe? Would you create music, books, movies, art, medicine? Write down a list of things. Don't worry about how far fetched they might sound. Just make a list of all the things you'd do and create if you had unlimited means to do so.

Why would you create those things? Of all the things you would magically create, why would you want to create them? What's the root cause for you to want to create the list of things you'd create? What do you gain by creating those things? Do you want to create those things in order to be free? Secure? Independent? Understood? An entrepreneur? Loved? Creative? An entertainer? An adventurer? What is it you get to become by creating the things on your list? What kind of person would you be if you were the kind of person living out that list and creating those things?

Moving further back into the roots of what you are or wish to become, if you could be anything, what would you want to be? Don't choose job descriptions, choose traits, aspects. What are you now? That's right, "what" would you want to be, not "who" would you want to be. If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Were you a healer? Brave? Organized? A great parent? An intellectual? A musician? An artist? Thoughtful? Kind? A supporter of dreams? What would you want them to say about you? How would you like to be seen? Sit with these thoughts for a bit and then write down a list for yourself starting with "I want to be..."

As an example, my list narrowed down to this:

I want to be....

Loved
A healer
An entertainer
Secure
An adventurer
A goddess
Independent
An explorer
An original
Free
A supporter of dream
An inspiration

Upon reflection, I can honestly say that every goal I've ever felt passionate about rooted from this list. Without realizing it, I had made most of my life choices from this list.

By identifying your true motivations and desires, it becomes easier to find direction in life. Now we know where your goals come from. What's the root beneath your dreams? There is no right or wrong answers, just ideas at the core of you. We could probably analyze what in your past makes you want to become the things you put on your list. We could analyze how close you are to being all of the things you've listed. It's not important. What matters is that now you know what it is you're aspiring to become.

Now it may seem to you that most of the things you had originally dreamed of creating were gifts you would share with others. You were going to put the kids through school. You were going to go on more vacations with your spouse. You were going to share your music with the world. You didn't think you were being selfish. And you're right. You were not being selfish. It's just that everything we do serves us in some way. Every gift we give is every bit a gift to ourselves also. You give the gift of a college education to your children and you give yourself the gift of being a good parent in your own eyes, or the gift of being a supporter of others in your own eyes. You get the gift of seeing yourself as a good person. Give the gift of music to the world and you get to see yourself as a musician. You get to be what it is that you want to be.

By acknowledging to yourself how you want to be seen and what you want to be remembered for, you get in touch with your true purpose and what it is that drives you. Don't beat yourself up if you find that you want to be something that might sound stuck up or egotistical. It's okay to want to be liked, admired, respected. It's not like your root motivation is to be envied, or to be superior to everyone else. It's okay to want to be attractive, intelligent, prosperous. We've convinced ourselves somewhere along the way that it's somehow wrong or evil to want to be wonderful or to be successful. The truth is, most of us would give back in appreciation for our successes. Most of us would spend more time with our loved ones. Most of us would give to charity. Most of us would do more volunteer work if we really had the time and the means. Nobody ever writes down "I want to be... greedy, selfish, and spoiled." We want to be positive wonderful things so that we can share our positive wonderful gifts with each other. Give yourself permission to become whatever it is on your list that really resonates within your heart.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
[email protected]

This article was posted on January 22, 2004

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Finding Yourself: Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3
 by: Skye Thomas

We have been told that the things we don't like in our children are the same things we don't like in ourselves. We are told that we project our own flaws and issues onto our perceived enemies in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We stereotype people according to who they hang out with. Birds of a feather flock together. We're attracted to people like ourselves, with the same flaws.

To carry the concept further, those traits and attributes that we admire in our heroes are within us. Just as with our flaws, we are simply projecting our virtues onto others in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We are attracted to certain people because they reflect our own aspects back at us. What's that mean?

Let's start with an exercise. Without regards to a persons looks or what they do for a living, think about the people that you've admired in your life. On a piece of paper, write down a list of people that have inspired you. Who has touched your heart? Who were your heroes? Make it as long or as short as you like. Which teachers, athletes, movie characters, and politicians have motivated you? Who makes your heart feel warm and enthusiastic?

When you've finished writing down your list of heroes, shift gears and think about the traits they have that you admire so much. Are they compassionate, steadfast, loyal, happy, determined, or laidback? Go through each person on your list one at a time and spend some time thinking about their virtues. What makes them so special that you put them on your list of heroes? As you reflect on these people and their attributes, list the various traits on a separate piece of paper. Place check marks beside those that get more than one 'vote.'

My lists looked like this:

Mother
Daughter
Son
Victoria (minister)
Jennifer (best friend)
Jon (doctor friend)
Mother Teresa
Princess Diana
Daniel (musician friend)
Simone (artist friend)
Vivian Leigh
Ron (director friend)
Albert Einstein

No worries about money ////////
Giving //////////
Kindness //////////
Loyal ///////
Joyful attitude //////
Self-confidence ///////
Intelligence //////////
Sense of humor ///////
Follows dreams /////////
Believes in "the Force" ///////////
Not a quitter //////////

After you've written your two lists, sit with them for a while and reflect on the possibility that those traits on your list might actually be present inside you. The reason you love them so much in others is because it's a piece of yourself that you're connecting to. If you were living up to your full potential, wouldn't you be a lot more like the people you admire? Is it hard to believe that the things on your list could possibly be the greatness in yourself? Ask some caring relatives or friends to look over your list and see if it matches their image of you. I think you'll be surprised.

When I did this exercise back in 1998, I had my children do it too. We sat around the kitchen table and did it together as a family activity. My daughter was eight years old at the time and found that she is "giggly, nice, giving, kind, a great friend, smart, funny, and loving." She already knew that, but enjoyed the confirmation. My son suffered a lot of emotional insecurities at the time because he'd been misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He was shocked to find that he is "nice follows dreams, strong, giving, active, fast, smart, playful, loving, funny, believes in 'the Force,' laughfull, fun, and brave." I had been telling him for years that he possessed those qualities but he thought I was prejudice because I'm his mom. He began making a huge turn around in his emotional well-being by acknowledging these wonderful traits within himself. I found the strength to start my own business and to finally pursue a career as a motivational speaker and writer.

At the time, it was pretty easy to tell myself that I am giving, kind, loyal, intelligent, and believe in 'the Force.' On the other hand, I really struggled with the concepts that I had no worries about money, a joyful attitude, self-confidence, and a sense of humor. I wanted desperately to be like that, but I didn't think I really followed dreams and I wasn't too sure that I wasn't a quitter after all. Over the years, I have learned many lessons and have experienced enough of the truth of this to know that yes I am exactly those things on that list. I have also learned that the things I most despised in others was indeed the things I wanted to work on in myself. The rule really does apply in both directions.

As I've been writing this article, I've been thinking about what it would be like to re-do the exercise now. Would my children's lists be different? Would mine? I think my children's lists would reflect a more adult perspective, but I think they'd still show most of the same traits. I might add some new names to my list, but I suspect that I would come up with a very similar list of traits. We might uncover more traits, but I doubt that we'd remove any. It's most likely that the traits follow us throughout our lives. It reminds me of that old saying, "wherever you go, there you are."

In finding our good traits, we uncover our true potential. We have something to live up to. We can measure our conduct and choices against the list. How much of our inner-struggle, like my son's, comes from not realizing our gifts? How much comes from realizing our potential and not living up to it? How much easier is life when we are behaving in accordance with our list of virtues? How much better do we feel about ourselves? How much better do others treat us when we live by these traits?

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
[email protected]

The Lies We Live By
 by: Olabisi(DJ)

How many times have you lied to get your way ?

Many cameras today focus automatically on things both far and near.

You are inclined to be like that. See, almost everything that you view "in focus" that is important, desirable and with some thinking is within your reach.

What are principles ?

A principle is defined as a general or fundamental truth: a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or "assumption" on which others are based or from which others are derived.

Do you think and act on the basics of principles ?

Having a firm grasp of basic principles can help you to understand and apply more specific directives, Futhermore if you do not thoroughly comprehend basic principles.

You might not be able to make sound decisions, as humans we tend to shy away from the effort required to reason on principles. We may prefer the convenience of a "Lie" when we are faced with a decision or a problem.

The anxieties of today's busy life might be distracting you from thinking and acting on the basics of principles.

How many times have you lied to yourself ?

Where does your security lie ?

Where are you going ?

I know sometimes you get so consumed by the daily grind of life that you forget to look at the larger picture.

When you put your lies aside, appraise your present situation and see what you can "Honestly" expect from the future.

You will see that you have been spinning your wheels on a very long insecure detour in an imperfect world of which you have a limited life span.

I want you to consider these ancient words of wisdom since so you do not second guess the value of principles.

"You become what you think"

Be Good.
Olabisi(DJ)

You have permission to publish this article in your ezine or on your web site, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

About The Author

A secret I have been keeping has increased my discipline. To find out more mailto:[email protected]

Olabisi(DJ) Gbayisomore is the owner of http://www.Taeboselections.com
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The Most Powerful Persuasion Skill You'll Ever Learn
 by: John M. Satterfield CHt

Criteria Elicitation

This is without a doubt the most important persuasion skill that you can learn. If you’ll learn to apply this to every situation in which you find yourself you’ll be amazed at the positive results! Many of the hypnotic skills I’ll be sharing with you have a parallel in old sales training techniques. This one is no exception! Lets say that you are needing to convince someone to do something, accept something, or behave in a certain way. You will need to communicate with their powerful subconscious to get your desired agreement. Once a person’s subconscious “buys in” to what you are proposing they will just naturally seem to come over to your way of thinking. The question then becomes “how do I get my message to the person’s subconscious?” Here’s your answer-elicit their true criteria. Simply put, ask. Try this one SALESMAN John what’s important to you when shopping for a new car? JOHN Well I like to know that the person I’m dealing with is honest.” SALESMAN Yes honesty is the best policy. What else is valuable to you when you are making the decision about a car? JOHN I like to know the car has a high reliability rating from Consumer Reports SALESMAN an unreliable car is not an acceptable situation. What else is important john? JOHN I want to know that I got a really good price.

In the above can you put John’s criteria in order of importance? If you chose 3, 2, 1 you were right! Our hypnotically trained sales man knew to ask at least three times what was really important or valuable. He agreed and parroted each answer so that John’s SC would react to him as a friend (rapport) John’s SC would give increasingly important info each time he was asked what’s important. So our salesman needs to focus on showing John that he is getting a good price on a reliable car from a trusted advisor. When you need to convince someone first you should establish rapport. The easiest way to do that is to ask some questions about things important to that person. Some people go after rapport by starting with stuff like “how do you like this weather?” A great way to establish rapport is to share some detail from your own life first. “John you should have been with me last week at the golf range! I was hitting them long and straight! Or “my daughter just got the lead in the school play!” People usually respond with instant liking for you when you share a detail from your life. Once you have conversed for awhile (small talk?) then you can get to the elicitation stage. “Boss—what’s important to you about how my sales job is performed?” What else? What else?

Surveys are formalized attempts at criteria elicitation.

Once you know someone’s criteria then you have the roadmap to structure your persuasion attempts. By focusing on their criteria you will be seen as perceptive, insightful and caring! “Honey what’s valuable to you in a relationship” What else? What else?

Structure your communication to take advantage of the criteria that you have elicited and you’ll always come out a winner!

Any Questions?

John Satterfield C.Ht (Certified Hypnotherapist)
[email protected]

About The Author

John M. Satterfield is a certified hypnotherapist and the marketing director for a small chain of nursing homes in North Central Arkansas. He is married and lives in a home in the woods with his wife and his “little blond psychiatrist” the cocker Spaniel Sir Lancelot His web site is www.Hypnosisucanuse.com You can sign up for his free ezine called Hypnosis You Can Use at [email protected]
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No Happiness Without Patience
 by: David Leonhardt

I'm searching for modern happiness. The old-fashioned kind takes just too long. That happiness requires patience and I don't want to wait. I want upgraded happiness. I want release 4.02, the "new and improved" version.

This is the 21st century and I demand instant gratification.

Once upon a time, you had to wait to eat your meal. Even when the Mammoth Burger walk-through was open, they offered only self-kill meals. And when you brought them home, you still had to get the fire started.

"What? Mammoth burger again? How you cook?"

"Ugh. Start fire for cave lady."

"Hah. You probably burn cave down."

"Hah you. No can burn cave down. Buy insurance policy."

"How you start fire?"

"Rub two fingers together. Make big flame. Cook mammoth burger."

"Last time you burn fingers."

"Yummy."

Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's how I want my happiness – toasty warm and right now!

"Ooh. No more burn fingers."

Consider the Internet. You type "electric toothpicks". You hit "enter". Google responds: "Search took 1.02 seconds."

"Seems kinda slow," you think. "Google is ready for the geriatric ward." You click on the first result – something about an electric eel eating a balanced breakfast – and a blank screen appears. You wait.

TRIVIA QUESTION: Did you know that Shakespeare once waited almost twenty seconds for a web site to appear, so he could find a word that rhymed with cardiologist? The web site finally appeared in 1997, but he had given up waiting by then.

Five seconds pass. Time's up and still not site. Your instant gratification cells have been offended. You surf to another site.

"Ugh. No get Mammoth Burger web site. This thing no work."

"That thing rock."

"Rock broken. Go to mammoth burger walk-through"

I don't want to walk to get happiness. I want it delivered now. Not twenty seconds later, even if it does rhyme with cardiologist. Not 1.02 seconds later. I want happiness now.

Remember the olden days when you had to extract your posterior from the couch to change channels? That took such a monumental effort that most people sat through whole television shows without changing channels. Of course, that might have been because the other channel was playing Lawrence Welk.

Back in the two-channel universe there was always something on. Now we flip through 472 channels, which keeps us busy while wishing for something worth watching.

Thanks to the remote control, affectionately known by its technical term – the doodadder – we can flip channels at a relaxed pace of 15 to 20 per minute without even breaking into a sweat. Imagine our body odor if we had to extract our posteriors from the couch each time we change channels!

"Ugh. No like show. Change channels."

"That thing rock."

"Rock need more channels. This play only test pattern."

Happiness should be like television. If I don't get instant gratification, I should be able to change channels with a zap.

The checkout clerk who doesn't care...ZAP!

The driver kissing my rear bumper...ZAP!

The loudmouth yakking in the cinema...ZAP!

The telemarketer who calls during dinner...ZAP!

Come to think of it, all those annoying people in my way at the grocery store, at the ticket booth, in the parking lot, in the waiting room...ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

"Miss Wooly no give me mammoth burger."

"What you do?"

"I zap her with club. Take mammoth burger."

"Ugh. You invent self-serve."

Sigh. Happiness is not like a microwave oven. Nor like the Internet. Not even like a doodadder. Happiness does not run on the instant gratification system. Happiness takes patience. Lord, please grant me the patience I lack...and I want it now!

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html . Or join in the happiness at http://www.thehappyguy.com.
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The A To Z I Beheld
 by: Onaefe Edebi

I beheld the sky and its wonders and saw Astonishment

I beheld the earth and its flowers and saw Beauty

I beheld the animals and beasts of the air, land and water and saw the hand of the Creator

I beheld the fullmoon and to me was it , like a blooming Daisy

I beheld the rivers and saw its Effusion

I beheld the star that led the East and saw the Firmament

I beheld the sun and saw the Glory

I beheld the cross and saw my Hero

I beheld the dove and saw Innocence

I beheld the heart of the master and saw a priceless Jewel

I beheld the Pentecost and saw the Holyflame Kindled

I beheld the slaughterand saw the cleansing blood of the Lamb

I beheld my reflection and saw The Creator's Masterpiece

I beheld my loss and looked up to Him who is my guiding star of the North

I beheld The Spirit descend from above and saw the heavens Open

I beheld The throne and saw the big Picture

I beheld the power of His might and saw no Questioning

I beheld the sepulchre and saw the Resurrection

I beheld the open heavens and saw Him who is crowned the morning Star

I beheld The word and saw the Truth

I beheld the HolyOne and saw given to me, the unction

I beheld His church and saw mighty men of Valour

I beheld the fear of Him who is crowned LORD of lords and saw Wisdom

I beheld His breath and light and saw that which is exceedingly greater than Xenon

I beheld my future and saw no more of Yesterday

I beheld the face of my Father and saw myself on the mount of Zion

About The Author

A motivational and Inspirational writer and programmer...
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Greed and Selfishness ... Knowing The Difference And Loving Yourself!
 by: Edward B. Toupin

I hear many people discuss how selfishness leads to greed, or that being greedy is part of being selfish. I simply have to say that "greed" and "selfishness" are not the same things. These are "value words" and are based on ideas and information drilled into our heads when we were younger as something known as "basic morals."

As you grow and change, you find that these value words don't seem to fit any longer and, instead of providing a basis from which we can learn, they begin to hinder progress. If you learned that being selfish meant not doing for others and that selfishness was bad, then all your life you will be taken advantage of and used by those that have come to realize that it is okay to be selfish with oneself.

However, this basic idea of selfishness preempts the definition of love. What this means is that, if we're selfish of ourselves, we can never love. This too is untrue! If we are selfish with ourselves, we seek that which is right and true for ourselves. In this search, we can find that person that is right for us and we love them because they provide the feelings that we seek for satisfaction.

Greed is a feeling for materialistic "things". Selfishness is a feeling for oneself.

In today's society, we have many incorrect ideas pounded into our heads by "parental voices" condemning and patronizing us into submission. When we begin to love ourselves and live for ourselves, we associate that feeling with the negative connotation of selfishness.

Redefine the meanings of your value words. Don't just accept a value word as an absolute because it came from someone else who you feel "has it all together". While they might have it all together in an area of their life that you see, they might be in turmoil in some other area of their life. Learn to redefine and trust your own values based on your own ability to reason.

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his sites at http://www.toupin.com or http://www.make-life-great.com.
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Breaking Even ... When is Enough, Enough?
 by: Edward B. Toupin

I had the most interesting discussion today with a friend of mine. He and I were chatting about the economy, his job, families, and life in general. The one point that he kept raising was that of his "needing to do more" to pay the bills, be with his family, get promoted at work, fix the hot water heater, etc. It's always the "need to do more" to better accommodate more.

I had to stop and think for a minute --- more for more? That doesn't make sense! If you have to do more, to handle more, yet there is no more time and energy and your quality of life decreases with each "more" you acquire --- that means that somewhere in the prior "mores" was a break-even point. There must have been some point in there were "more" was enough and everything was great --- yet we missed the peak because we were busily looking at something "more".

--- Is less more? ---

I always wondered what that meant --- "less is more". Actually, you have to have something to begin with to have less and know what this means. I remember during the fires in Colorado --- we went from living in a gorgeous, huge house, on a mountain, to living in a pickup truck and hotel room for two weeks. We had much less --- but at that time we had everything we needed: my wife, myself, and the two dogs. We were safe and realized that nothing else mattered --- our peak? Perhaps. But, life went on and we rebuilt our lives around necessities instead of "more". We now have everything we need, and a few things we want, but we looked for that break even point and are now happier than ever before.

--- Where is my break even? ---

This point is different for everyone, but the break even point, I've found, is when you have everything that satisfies your core needs in life and you have the opportunity to take the time and enjoy them all. Everything beyond that point begins to put stress on your life, love, and career and the quality of life begins to decrease because of the amount of energy and time involved in maintaining the "more".

The best way to determine your break even point on your quality of life is to examine your basic needs such as food, water, air, relationships, love, and self-satisfaction. Once you've satisfied your core requirements of existence, then you can move forward to attain your self-realization and achieve those things that you want to define your life.

Many times, people grasp and grab at anything they can because they are looking for something to satisfy their needs and desires. In the process, they acquire a tremendous amount of unnecessary clutter in their life and begin to run into time and resource issues. But, they have all of this "stuff" to find that it was nothing that they needed or wanted to satisfy their lives.

To achieve your break even, you have to analyze what you want in life and only acquire those things, material and spiritual, that are of benefit to your ultimate Vision and goals. Realize that, if it doesn't drive your life forward, then it isn't necessary! Perhaps you want family, career, and financial stability so that you can enhance your quality of life. Indeed, a valiant goal, but what is keeping your from achieving this goal?

--- What's next? ---

I am not saying that you should live in squalor! I am saying, live a life that is full and rich, but do so in such a way that is beneficial to your Vision and does not diminish your quality of life. Establish a Vision, define your Mission, and streamline your life to achieve your goals. Don't meander through life and grab at just anything to fill voids and dreams. Take hold of those things that mean something and truly fulfill your dreams!

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his sites at http://www.toupin.com or http://www.make-life-great.com.
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Examination Strategies
 by: Colin Ong TS

1) Prepare a realistic time-table for your study preparation. Take into account that you may still have to go back for remedials and tests.

2) Look at you examination time-table. Are there days that you may have sit for 2 papers? Strategise and be prepared.

3) Check the marks allocation. Go through the different ways in which you can get distinctions. There could be some sections that you are confident of scoring well.

4) Do you have any friends or relatives who have set for the same examinations? Maybe they can provide tips like "The last essay is always tricky" or "There is not enough time for the MCQs".

5) Take time to know thyself. Especially your weaknesses. Are you careless in essay-writing or write rather slowly?

6) Studying in groups may not be advisable right to the eve of the examinations. You must have sufficient solitude to reflect on your examination strategy.

7) Some students have the tendency to listen to their Walkman during their revision. Be mindful that the examination is held in silence.

If you are sitting for an essay-style examination, don't just study in point form. It is crucial that you take a "trial-run" and write complete essays to time yourself. You may be surprised that of not having enough time for completing the essays in the stipulated period.

9) Exercise regularly during this period.

10) It is okay to study during the wee hours of the night but remember that the examinations are held during waking hours! It will be a tragedy if you are able to perform best after your examination schedule.

11) As matters of the heart do play a part in distracting students, have a pact with your partner to give each other space to study and prepare.

12) Lastly, if you feel that you can't manage your examinations preparation, talk to your teacher or course coordinator. There are many reasons why you can't cope and most may not be academic in nature.

About The Author

Colin Ong TS is the Managing Director of MR=MC Consulting (http://www.mrmc.com.sg) and Founder of the 12n Community (http://www.mrmc.com.sg/12n)
[email protected]

The Family
 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 19, 2004

I grew up in a very abusive family. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse were the norm. My father was the most abusive, but my mother echoed his sentiments and couldn't see why we were unhappy with what he was doing to us. Add to this sexual abuse suffered at the day care center they dumped me at, and I was hurt, confused, and losing myself.

After one particularly nasty fight I told my father I had enough. He couldn't hit me anymore without me going to the police. He turned it all on me by saying my parents never wanted to have kids, and I was getting what I deserved. By 19, I felt so awful about myself I attempted suicide and thought about locking myself away in an institute to be safe from my family.

I moved to Australia to study and met a nice boy. I'm 23 now, engaged, and we are planning a 2004 wedding. Since moving I've attended counseling, and I'm taking antidepressants. But my parents still run my life from thousands of miles away. They send me the most hateful e-mails and told me unless I get married at the family home, they will not consider me family.

This they then retracted, but they call incessantly--which I don't answer--and criticize me over and over. Without asking they send money that I hate accepting, but it seems they always seem to know when I need more. They're honestly destroying my life. I feel so much guilt and sadness inside I am getting a facial twitch. My doctor told me my stress levels are rocket high, and that I'm slowly killing myself.

My partner is very supportive and his family as well. They've suggested severing ties with my family since I am suffering so much stress and since I'm an otherwise bright, funny, and bubbly person. But I feel obligated to my family to solve their problems and make them happy with me.

How do I stop the guilt? What if my family hates me? I'm 23. I can't imagine going my whole life without them. Even if they're completely worthless, they are still my family.

Lynne

Lynne, some people have an allergy to shellfish so severe eating shellfish will kill them. The only safe thing is to give up shellfish totally. But what if a person can't see living their life without eating shellfish? Then shellfish will kill them.

Andrew Vachs, an attorney and child welfare advocate, said something we believed in long before we heard it. He said, "Family should be an operational term, not a biological term." To say it more simply, a man is your father because he acts like a father. A woman is your mother because she acts like your mother.

Some people are born in poverty; some people don't get a chance for an education; some people grow up in homes with severe abuse. Wishing things were otherwise changes nothing. For people who grow up with severe abuse, the only way to save themselves and have a decent life, may be to walk away from their abusers.

In the final Godfather movie, Michael Corrleone tries to escape from organized crime, but he finds it impossible. "Just when I thought I was out," he says, "they pull me back in." Your family is trying to pull you back into the cycle of abuse. In your own words, "They're honestly destroying my life."

The behavior we would never tolerate at the hands of a stranger is sometimes routinely accepted inside the family.

Your father was abusive in every way, and your mother supported him. Unlike Michael Corrleone, you have a choice. You now have people in your life who support you, care about you, and love you. Delete the e-mail and change your phone number. Choose the people who deserve to be in your life.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: [email protected].

Adversity to Victory
 by: Steve Brunkhorst

The following is a true story about a young friend who lives in St. Louis...

Andy was born with a developmental disorder. The two sides of his brain were not joined normally with each other. The right side of his body could not communicate with the left. At age three, it was difficult for him to walk, speak, and play. He could only echo back a few words, and walk slowly while someone held each of his hands.

Then came the struggles. He attended an all-day center where he was enrolled in every imaginable therapy. He struggled, sometimes in tears, to get stronger. Andy hated it when his parents would leave him there in the mornings. However, they *believed* - against all odds - that he would grow up to live a normal healthy life. They believed it for themselves, and for Andy.

It paid off. Today Andy is a successful 13-year old high school student. His progress has been nothing short of phenomenal. He receives special help with a few things, but joins with his friends in all the activities he loves. Andy overcame enormous odds to move from adversity to victory.

Ask yourself: "What are the seeds of strength hidden in my struggles today? If I get back up when I fall, what will that make possible tomorrow?"

"Overnight success" is the result of years of tenacity and continued learning. Victory is possible for those who decide it's their most compelling option. They'll find the path to their dream. However, they will accept adversities as universities that will foster strength, growth, and skills to attract the victory they seek.

About The Author

(C) Copyright by Steve Brunkhorst. Reprinted from Achieve! Ezine. Steve is a life success coach, and the creator of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to achievers the world over. Subscribe today by visiting Steve's site at http://AchieveEzine.com

How I Get Joy as a Value
 by: Miami Phillips

*In the last couple of months, I have been fortunate to be able to share the troubles of others. Why fortunate? I believe that the ability to be very close to the pain and fears of others has allowed me to realize how utterly fantastic my life is.

*As with many of us, I am always able to find something that might not be going just as I would like, something I wish to be better, or different, or a whole other something. But as I watch others, and listen to the challenges they face and the problems they are experiencing, my world seems almost perfect. In fact, my life is perfect.

*My belief is that the more life throws at you, the more crucial it is to work on living in the present moment. I believe our lives are pieces of a puzzle. But we’re not given ALL the pieces nor are we given a picture of the puzzle to help us put it together or to show us what it should look like once complete. Our job is to fit the pieces we are given together the best we can and work with what we have until more pieces arrive.

*Isn't that fascinating!?

*I have found that I am more and more able to work patiently with the pieces I am given knowing that the rest are on their way. Furthermore, I have faith that when those pieces do arrive, they will be for the best, even though it might not look that way at the time.

*Thinking this way has had several wonderful benefits for me. I am much calmer in the face of what might appear as an awful situation. I can literally stop and strike up a conversation with my Self…"Isn't this fascinating?" "I wonder what is really going on here that I am not seeing yet?"

*Almost every time I do that, I find gold! Usually, the reason I get into challenges is because there is a lesson for me. The trick is finding it! This challenge brings me joy. I always thought that joy was what you got when you found happiness.

*However, as I have struggled in the past to find "happiness", and continue to hear of so many others search for this same happiness, I now believe that joy is something else altogether . If joy is happiness, and you have no joy in your life, then it would stand to reason that you are not happy. That makes your joy vulnerable to your definition of happiness.

*For me, joy is having a willingness to accept the whole of life, knowing that it is not perfect. Joy is being willing to show up and meet what is there with no attachment to the result. To me, if I have no attachment to the outcome and can accept what comes no matter what, then I am free from worry, anxiety, or concern over what the future holds. For me, this freedom - is joy.

*It cannot be taken away, and it is with me always. *It depends on nothing and is almost invincible.

*The less we are attached to life, the more alive we can become.

*Joy is what I want for you! In-joy your self!

*As always,

Your online Coach and Friend,
*Miami www.creativemasterminds.com.
Helping everyone find their path and stay on it. [email protected]

*Quotation of the Week
*I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. Rita Mae Brown

*We had a great call last Sunday night! Join us this Sunday at 9PM eastern for another! Simply send an email to [email protected] and I will send you the phone number to call. We are talking about New Year's resolutions and how to get what you want from this year.

About The Author

Miami Phillips is an ANSIR Certified Personal Coach and the founder of Creative MasterMinds who believes personal growth is an essential ingredient to being happy and contributing to this world. While his main focus is affordable personal and business coaching, he also offers motivational teleclasses, ebooks, reading recommendations and much more. To find out more visit his site at http://www.creativemasterminds.com or send him an email at [email protected]