Take the Personal Out of the Workplace: Leave Your Troubles at the Door!
 by: Joanne Victoria

Bringing your emotional baggage into the work place is inappropriate for all the reasons you may imagine. Yet employees, managers and business owners do it all the time.

The question is, how do you handle it? How do you look at your manager and think, "No one is going to tell me what to do!" What if a client, peer or prospect gets you on a Bad Day?

How do you take the personal out of the workplace?

It requires discrimination and distinction. If you are having communication problems at work, look at how you view your manager, boss or employee. Does he or she represent a parent, mate or partner? Are your frustrations about what is and is not working in your life manifested on the job? Learn to leave your troubles at the door. Decide that what you do in the workplace is your contribution – to yourself, your peers and the community. This is your opportunity to commit to what you are best at doing and get paid for it.

Examine your values. Values are how you live your life, about what is important to you. Choose values that help make you what you truly are. Your personal values and professional values can be the same.

Warning! Many businesses like to say they are like a family. Be cautious if you are enticed by this. Employees, managers and business owners may manifest characteristics found in your personal family.

Why is this important?

What can happen is, you may take on the role that you do in your own family. If you are passive at home and come to work as a manager, what does that look like? Confusing at best. When a passive person has to function in a different role on the job, they may revert and act like the aggressive parent. Potential can best be realized under a thoughtful and caring leader. Attempt to facilitate, to make it easy for everyone to achieve their best.

As a manager or business owner, you have to know what your values are; what the values of your company are, as well as the values of the people you manage. The basic rules of respect and acceptance apply. The Golden Rule is: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", not: "Do it to them before they do it to you".

People who bring emotional baggage into the workplace can be temperamental, grasping and neglectful. Even more frustrating is that they act out all their pent-up, misplaced emotions on the job without consideration for others. Employees and co-workers react to this, work efforts and results go by the wayside, and profit and productivity go down.

Leave your unexpressed feelings at the door. Take a break if you become frustrated. Know that you are at work to provide results.

Heal yourself first, determine your values, then you will be a better employee, manager or business owner.

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Publishing Guidelines: Thank you for publishing this article in its entirety, including the resource box. When possible, please notify me of publication by sending either a website link or a copy of your ezine upon publication via email to: mailto:[email protected].

About The Author

Joanne Victoria - over 25 years experience as mentor, coach, consultant, Author and Speaker. Working with executives, professionals and small business owners who want to achieve more.

Buy her book,
Lighting Your Path!
How To Create the Life You Want, here:
http://www.JoanneVictoria.com/book.htm
Tel: 415-491-1344 Fax: 415-485-9295
[email protected]

The Dead
 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004

I love my wife with all my heart and soul. She is now and will ever be the other half of my heart. Twenty years ago I felt much the same about another woman. She was my first true love. Unfortunately, her parents did not see us having a future together. Although I had a hard time letting go, I respected their wishes.

We both went on to live separate lives. We married different people and had children, and we moved thousands of miles apart. I found out she died yesterday. I did not expect the news to affect me this way, but I am shattered.

I feel the grief of loss, even though her love is something I have not had, nor could hope to have, for the last 20 years. I feel guilt for feeling this grief and do not know how to explain this to my wife. She can see the news affected me. How do I cope with this? Is it appropriate to send my condolences to her husband and children. What would I say?

Guy

Guy, in James Joyce's story "The Dead," a man named Gabriel Conroy goes with his wife Gretta to the annual Christmas dance given by his aunts. At the end of the evening, with most of the guests gone, a tenor sings a song which stirs a memory in Gretta. Gabriel's heart is brimming with happiness because he thinks his wife's thoughts are running with his.

Back in their hotel room Gretta, in tears, explains that the song reminded her of a boy she once loved. The boy died after standing in the rain outside Gretta's window the night before she left home. Gabriel then realizes how deeply his wife loved this boy, and he realizes "how poor a part he, her husband, had played in her life."

It's hard to share this memory with your wife without her wondering how poor a part she, your wife, has played in your life. To tell your wife she is the other half of your heart, and then to say 20 years ago you felt the same about another woman, may undermine the sincerity of your words.

And what would you tell the husband and children of your first love? That you are the man who should have been her husband and their father? That won't help them. There is no reason to feel guilt, but you should realize this is all about you, your feelings, and your imagining of what might have been.

We suggest two things. Write out all your feelings, perhaps even the entire story of your relationship, in private. In the writing you may come to understand why her death has affected you so deeply. And get a book on grieving as a way to get in touch with your emotions and accept her death. Some things must be faced alone.

Wayne & Tamara

A Day Away

My friends and teachers take the mickey out of my name by singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" from the musical "Annie." But they replace tomorrow with Tamara, and it really hurts my feelings. What should I do?

Tamara

Tamara, I bet my bottom dollar you'll be having people use word play on your name not just tomorrow, but for the rest of your life. Like you, I pronounce my name like the day after today, except the o's become a's and the w is dropped.

People love making puns, and teasing or "taking the mickey out" of a name makes them feel clever. But isn't the mickey really on them? When you walk into a room, you are able to make people break into a happy show tune, whether they can carry a tune or not. That song makes people smile, and it ends with "I love ya, Tamara." Take it as a compliment and smile with them.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: [email protected].

Questions and Affirmations - The Art (and Science) Of Talking To Yourself
 by: Frank F. Lunn

I Hear Voices…

This is not a statement of paranormal; it is a statement of truth. Yes, we all have an inner voice…Is yours an ally or an enemy? Do you realize you say things to yourself you would never let anyone else say to you? Don’t let your inner voice tear you down and strip away your confidence.

All outward success first starts with inward success...learn the secret strategies to winning communication with your self.

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“Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only, arise our pleasures, joys, laughter and sorrows. …Through it, we think, see, hear and distinguish the ugly from the beautiful, the bad from the good, the pleasant from the unpleasant…To consciousness, the brain is messenger.” –Hippocrates

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Did you know that each day you have more than 50,000 random thoughts flying around in your head? You might find it interesting to note that we all have voices in our head. Sometimes the voice is calm and reassuring providing you with great confidence in your abilities. Other times, this voice is the negative and self limiting voice that calls into question all of your deficiencies. The voice that brings up all of the past failures and shortcomings and reminds you of all of the things you have going against you.

In sports, this voice is the last thing you hear before you take action. In interaction with others, it is sometimes the voice that challenges your worth in relation to others and weakens our own esteem.

Although we are born with this amazing supercomputer, the most complex and incredible instrument known in the universe, it does not come with an owner’s manual.

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Success principles are not secrets; they are hiding in plain view.

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Famed journalist, Edward R. Murrow remarked, “The obscure we eventually see. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.” They are not reserved for the rich or famous, but to everyone who will apply them. We are inborn by our creator with tools to guide us and protect us and to open the world of abundance to us; if only we will let it.

Like understanding the law of gravity will place you on your bottom if you violate it, principles of success are laws of nature. Every idea you produce consciously produces subconscious activity to fulfill what was first created in your mind.

A farmer choosing what to plant in a field is like the conscious mind. The field itself is the subconscious mind. Whatever the farmer plants, the field grows. The field does not possess a will of its own; it must grow what was planted. It would be ridiculous to think of the farmer planting corn and having beans grow. In the same way your subconscious mind will carry out the actions our conscious mind directs. If the farmer neglects the field and plants nothing, there will still be growth. The growth will be wild and weedy based on whatever was accidentally planted.

Over time the field will be out of control with weeds. In the same way our minds, if not consciously directed, will fill with mental weeds.

There is good news!

The good news is that just like any other skill, you can learn to take greater control of your inner voice and in doing so, create greater control of your life.

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." –William James

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Create Your Destiny

with the

Power Of

Questions and Affirmations

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The Power of Positive Questions

Most people ask themselves the wrong question which produces a negative subconscious effect. You can learn to program your super computer brain by learning to ask yourself the right questions. The key is to ask yourself solution-based, positive and empowering questions rather than negative, disempowered, problematic questions.

In the past, you may have asked questions like the following. “Why am I so fat?” “Why is my life such a failure?” “Why do bad things always happen to me?” “Why am I so stupid?” These questions and all the ones like it take a terrible toll on you.

First they start with a negative assumption, stated as fact with the question supporting the wrong conclusion. If you ask yourself, “Why is my life in the crapper?” any answer you give provides support to the negative assumption. This can be compared to an attorney taking a witness from the opposing side down the path to prove the lawyer’s point.

Next time you find yourself doing this, interrupt yourself with the quip, “Objection your Honor; leading the witness!”

Improving your condition comes through asking yourself better questions. This allows the creative inspiration to work through our subconscious to bring about the conditions or magnetize the conditions we seek.

You not only have the ability, but also all the resources necessary to learn anything you need to learn to fulfill any ambition or achieve any goal you desire. The goal for your questions to yourself in any situation should be outcome or solution based. The assumption is that there is an issue that needs to be fixed. Rather than what was presented above, look at an approach leading to an action conclusion. “What do I need to change about my habits to get to my fitness goal?” “What do I want to do with my life that gives me meaning and satisfaction?” “What do I need to do differently to change this string of results?” “What can I learn and apply from this?” “What is affecting my mood that makes me feel my life is not going the right direction?”

Tony Robbins asserts, “Questions provide the key to unlocking our unlimited potential.” Probably the single best question you can begin to ask yourself in any situation is, “What outcome do I want from this event/situation?”

You may certainly wish to adapt this slightly, but when you go into a situation, whether it is a business meeting or negotiation or class, knowing your desired outcome is vital. As I began to work on this habit in earnest for myself, I was simply amazed at how many actions I took and how many activities I worked on without asking this clearly up front? I need to research a better mortgage for my house. What is my ideal outcome? Is it lower payments, less interest over time, more house for my money, flexibility? Without knowing the right question, the answers don’t help much. What outcome do I desire for my relationship with my spouse and children? Do I know and plan or just let it happen?

We have the power through understanding and training of our subconscious minds to plant the seeds and affirm health, security, happiness, abundance. We also have the opportunity to allow society’s programming to plant the seeds of lack, insecurity, fear, doubt, and negativity. I am not speaking about deep hypnosis or anything out of the ordinary.

It takes practice to keep your mind free from worry and insecurity. It takes dedication to constantly feed your mind new information and positive stimuli that will provide positive associations. It takes vigilance to associate with positive people and positive influences. Make sure your questions ask for what you want, not what you don’t want.

Remember…your mind is a supercomputer. In addition to the information and educational programming you provide as input to your computer, how you talk to yourself and the questions you ask is the most influential factor in your outcome.

The Simple Power of Affirmations

We need to find a way to control our thoughts to keep them as allies rather than adversaries. In her book, The Secret Door To Success, the late Florence Scovel Shinn talks about having a Watchman at the gate of our thoughts. Her assertion is that we have the power to choose our thoughts. She uses an analogy of a single sheep dog controlling frightened sheep into the pen through gentle determination.

“We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.”

Although her book was written in the early 1900s, she hits upon a tool that is one of the best and yet underutilized tool for controlling and programming your thoughts, the power of affirmation.

Affirmation as a mental programming technique is an extremely powerful tool, yet one that is scoffed at by many. Affirmations are tremendously misunderstood and very much underutilized. What you may not realize is that you use them all the time although most time not to your benefit. Affirmations are simply statements of intent. You can develop into all that you desire to be based on what you chose to affirm about yourself.

I Am The Greatest!!

Mohammad Ali is one of the most widely known and recognized sports figures as a former heavyweight boxing champion of the world. Ali is famous for his repeating of an affirmation he used with great effectiveness to convince not only himself, but also his opponents and the rest of the world. “I am the Greatest!” Mohammad Ali’s affirmation created his legacy.

Like goals, affirmations work best when they are worded in the present tense as “I am” or “I achieve” type statements. The mind cannot hold a negative. Affirmations are nothing more than affirming the truth as you wish it to be to instruct your subconscious mind to take action in that direction. It is really very simple.

Affirmations help you believe in your dreams and what you wish to be. Belief is essential to convincing your subconscious to act the direction you want to go. Affirmations are like exercise. You will not see immediate results until you create the habit which over time helps you build strength in yourself and in your beliefs. This ultimately affects your actions which affect your results.

An affirmation in some cases might be a lie at present, but you are in a sense trying to convince your subconscious that it can be true to make it a reality in the future.

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"To affirm anything is to state that it is so, and to maintain this as being true in the face of all evidence to the contrary. Repeating an affirmation is leading the mind to that state of consciousness where it accepts that which it wishes to believe."-Ernest Holmes

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Sometimes we inadvertently affirm and reinforce old established beliefs. “I am so stupid.” “I’m going to lose this account.” “I always flub this shot.” “There is no way I can make this deadline.” “I gain weight just smelling chocolate.” “I need a drink.” “I am a horrible golfer.” I can’t speak in public.” “I could never write a book.” “I am such a klutz.” “I never win.” “I’m not smart enough to do that.” “I could never do something like that.” “I am such an idiot sometimes.” “I would lose my head if it were not attached.”

Have you ever said things like this to yourself; or worse to others about yourself? Of course you have…we all have done this. This kind of talk while sometimes self effacing and done for positive effect, can actually have negative consequences. If taken to extreme and developed into a habit or pattern of self talk, the message and programming can be damaging. The issue that separates people is their underlying attitudes and beliefs about themselves. How do you respond to setbacks and adversity? Do you take it in stride, or do you take the glum and negative approach of “this always happens to me, I never catch a break, etc.”

The other choice is to create and affirm and reinforce our desired positive beliefs. This happens all day long, moment by moment, and takes hold a little at a time. “This is easy.” “I only eat when I am hungry.” “I feel great when I exercise.” “I know I can drop the pounds when I put my mind to it.” “What an awesome day!” “I don’t run and hide from problems, I attack.” “I feel great!” “My life is really working.” “I see a lot of opportunities in this situation.”

I have one friend who repeats to herself daily an affirmation of, “I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific!” Every time I see this person, I can tell it is real, applied and working in her life. Another friend of mine, when asked how she is, replies glumly sounding like the always depressed Eyore from Winnie The Pooh, “I’m here.”

You make the call which one is progressing faster in their lives. Can you guess which one has more abundant opportunities “luckily” come her way?

The Art (and Science) of Affirmations

When you learn to change and direct your thoughts and your internal communication your life will reflect the change (law of correspondence). Creating affirmations can change your beliefs and change the course of your life. For affirmations and autosuggestion to be effective it needs to have the following six elements. In order to be effective, your positive declarations should embody most or all of the following characteristics:

   1. Personal (Usually a statement beginning with I)
   2. Positive (The mind cannot hold a picture of a negative)
   3. Present Tense (The time is now)
   4. Short (Easy to remember and easy apply)
   5. Specific (A specific target allows for a specific course of action and most direct route)
   6. Emotionally Intense (This is necessary to break through the clutter of the thousands of thoughts and images that you are bombarded with on a daily basis)

The real goal is to imbed this into the subconscious to allow it to do the yeoman’s work. The only real obstacle is convincing your subconscious that you are serious and committed and that you truly have a burning desire for what you want. Long-term change will only happen when there is congruency between who you think you are and how you act and behave and the choices that we make.

Affirmations are Catalyst for Success

Positive affirmations mixed with emotional intensity produce amazing results. Music is an amazing mood catalyst. To really get the most out of affirmations and create an incredible Incremental Advantage in their effectiveness in your life, I suggest recording your affirmations to inspiring music.

A good friend of mine challenged me to do just this ten years ago. I purchased an inexpensive karaoke machine, put an upbeat instrumental tape in and recorded all of the affirmations I could create to change behaviors and support my goals.

Unless you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and give this a real opportunity to work in your life, you could never know the simply incredible power and way that this mental programming technique can work in your life. I literally wore my first tape out listening to it, but it created significant leverage and results for me. I know the vast majority reading this will not make the commitment to this habit. It is a shame, but for those of you who do, I promise your results in every area of your life will improve as your internal communication improves. I constantly look for, borrow, adapt and write down affirmations. I cannot claim originality for all of them as they have been collected and changed over the years.

    * I turn challenges into opportunities.
    * I eliminate debt as dead weight and a YOKE around my neck. I will only be as free as I am free from debt.
    * I am a leader and a developer of people!
    * I am calm and composed under pressure.
    * Stress makes me stonger.
    * I utilize my strengths and abilities to benefit everyone I come into contact with.
    * I actively pursue excellence in myself and others.
    * I get up at 5:00 every morning feeling energized and ready to take on the day.
    * I face my fears and conquer them.
    * I am empowered by the energy that I feel and that flows through me.
    * My daily routines are positive and improving.
    * I always increase my value to other people.
    * I am flexible and adaptable in every situation. I look for creative alternatives and seek out new ways of accomplishing my goals.
    * I have money in savings and a balanced plan for security and income growth.
    * I see people, not as they are, but rather for what they can be.
    * I am a strong, motivated and extremely dedicated leader.
    * I am a great leader and achieve my victories thru the victories of those I serve.
    * I choose to spend my time with positive and forward thinking life affirming people.
    * I am persistent in the pursuit of my goals.
    * Solutions and alternative ideas come easy for me.
    * I take time each day to play and to enjoy my family.
    * I am an excellent role model for others.
    * I forget the mistakes of the past and press on to my greatest achievement.

“What a man thinks of himself that is what determines, or rather indicates his fate.”

“I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

-Henry David Thoreau

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Excerpted from Stack The Logs!
by Frank F. Lunn

for information about “Building a Success Framework to Reach Your Dreams,” other valuable success resources or to purchase your copy, please visit www.stackthelogs.com or email [email protected].

About The Author

Frank F. Lunn is an expert in leadership, marketing, and small business entrepreneurship. A former military officer and Gulf War veteran, Lunn is the founder of the Kahuna Business Group, a $20 million annual company. Lunn is the author of STACK THE LOGS!: Building a Success Framework to Reach Your Dreams, pledging to donate 10 percent of all sales to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where his son’s life was saved.
[email protected]

How To Get Promoted - Take Control Of Your Destiny!
 by: Frank F. Lunn

It Is Up To You

So, you want to get promoted. The possibility really lies in your own hands. Remember the trite but true saying, “If it is to be, it is up to me!” Don’t wait for things to happen. Set yourself apart from the crowd and make things happen. Most people look outward for success. They look for someone else to appreciate them, someone else to promote them, someone else to motivate them. Success is not external shining in, it is internal radiating out. If you look for other people to define your success or happiness, you will never find your full measure of either. If you want a promotion, set up the conditions to get promoted. Don’t dwell on your limitations or what you can’t do. Instead, look to magnify and capitalize on your strengths and potential. Spend energy focusing on finding Incremental Advantages and changing and improving areas you can. Big success is built on a series of small successes.

You, Inc. Whether you acknowledge it or not, you are self employed regardless of who signs your paycheck. Failure to recognize this leads to dependence on others and a failure to develop your single most valuable asset - you! Even if you are an employee, you are basically self employed. You are your own personal services corporation selling to one customer in this case, your employer. Whether you earn minimum wage or are in the top bracket of income earners, your business entity, You, Inc., is at the heart of your earning. The quickest route to earning more money is to provide more value to your organization. The more you develop your skills, talents, abilities, attitudes and efforts into value for your employer or your clients, the more you earn and are worth.

Add To Your Value Create a personal balance sheet for yourself. List your assets and your liabilities in the areas of knowledge, talents, skill set, abilities and attitude. Your liabilities in reality are only what you have yet to learn and apply to improve the items on the asset side. What are you doing to push the boundaries and improve the production capability of You, Inc.? Keep learning. The best education is the application of knowledge to your goals. Incremental learning is like climbing a mountain. The more you climb, the more you see and the better you can improve your perspective of all that is below you. The more knowledge and information you gather and put to use, the easier it is to gain new information and apply that information to your life.

Try The Inversarian Approach During rush hour of a major city where most people live in the suburbs, most of the traffic is going out. An inversarian strategy would be to live in the city and work in the suburbs to avoid the traffic created by the masses. Inversarian is observing what the masses are doing and then doing the opposite. To separate from the crowd, use the inversarian principle to your advantage. Most people do little more than expected of them. Doing more than expected and providing more value sets you significantly apart. You only rise in an organization or get true rewards when you put forth effort and prove your worth. Parlay small successes into larger successes and magnify your results. This is really compound success like compound interest. The gains will at first be small and imperceptible. As you apply and reinvest your gains they become more significant. “Stack The Logs!” - reinvest in your wins and small gains. Stack up those small victories. Eventually the pile grows and others take notice.

Do More Than Expected Your goal is to make yourself indispensable. You promote yourself through actions and attitudes and ultimately separate yourself from the crowd waiting for the arrival of the S.S. Entitlement.

Separate Yourself From The Crowd • Take initiative. A person with strong personal initiative is basically a leader of self. The mass of people wait for circumstances.

    * Be a catalyst. One motivated individual is yeast that can leaven an entire loaf. It requires vision, initiative, patience, respect, persistence, courage and faith to be the yeast.

    * Take on more work and look for ways to build value in your organization through becoming a problem solver.

    * Take on projects that challenge and teach you new skills, so you grow in value in your current or future organizations.

    * Find opportunities to do things better and more efficiently than it has been done before.

    * To get paid more, provide more service following the law of harvest – sow and reap.

    * Work hard. Great success comes from hard work directed toward a clearly-defined goal. The harder you work, the “luckier” you will likely be.

Sometimes this means coming in early and staying late. It may mean doing what is asked to the best of your ability, then doing more. When these things are done with enthusiasm and a positive attitude, it creates separation from the crowd and can lead to that promotion you’ve been working towards.

“The best way to predict the future is to CREATE IT!” -Peter F. Drucker

This is an excerpt from Frank F. Lunn’s book Stack The Logs! Building a Success Framework to Reach Your Dreams. This live-your-life-by-design book is part of the Empowerment series published by Kahuna Business Group. Click here to order and start living the life you desire…and deserve.

To learn more about the STACK Strategy or to take control of your life…purchase Stack the Logs! visit www.stackthelogs.com or email [email protected]. One-tenth of the selling price of $19.95 will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital to further the work of: “Finding cures. Saving children.”

About The Author

Frank F. Lunn is an expert in leadership, marketing, and small business entrepreneurship. A former military officer and Gulf War veteran, Lunn is the founder of the Kahuna Business Group, a $20 million annual company. Lunn is the author of STACK THE LOGS!: Building a Success Framework to Reach Your Dreams, pledging to donate 10 percent of all sales to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where his son’s life was saved.
[email protected]

The Joy Of Living In The Zone
 by: Keith Varnum

What do people want most in the world? What is the most sought-after goal? From the moment we awaken to the moment we close our eyes at night, what is it we seek every minute of the day?

We want to feel good. The primary motivation behind every action we take is the desire to feel happy. Even when we're focused on moving away from pain, we are, in effect, moving toward feeling good-physically, emotionally and spiritually.

What Do They Get from Opera?

As a kid, I often asked myself, "Why do people engage in life-endangering activities like sky-diving, car racing and mountain climbing?" And I wondered, "Why do people choose dangerous jobs like being a firefighter, cop or ambulance driver? I was also confounded by the large amounts of money and time people spend going to the opera, rock concerts and sports events. The budding journalist in me asked, "What do all these activities have in common? What's the compelling force driving people to invest most of their precious free time, or whole lives, in these pursuits? What, in heaven's name, are people looking for?"

A Rush Is a Rush Is a Rush!

At one point in my teens, I saw the light. It's so obvious really. We want to feel! We want to feel something.

On some level we all know that life is about feeling. If we don't feel life we miss life. And, of course, the most popular choice is to feel good. Whatever way we choose to get ourselves to feel the end goal is the same: to experience the good side of life-as fully and powerfully as possible! We want to feel really alive and happy. Some people call it Joy. Some Pleasure. Some Rush, Electricity, Juice, Fire or Passion!

The Pursuit of "The Zone"

If you listen to the language of the street throughout the world you'll hear what's on the minds of most folks. There's one prevailing theme running through most peoples' conversations. They're talking about their desire to feel good. And they want to find the quickest, easiest way to feel good. I call this the pursuit of "The Zone." The Zone is the place of feeling good. It goes by many names. On a roll. In the flow. In a groove. Steamin' Jivin' Clickin' Rockin' or Cookin'. Many different names, one essence, one feeling.

What is The Zone?

Being in The Zone is when everything goes right! You feel great! You're on top of the world. Somehow you're magically in the right place at the right time and everything is working out just like you want. To be in the flow is to be dialed into your natural state of clarity, presence and personal power. It's being free of tension, worry and draining emotions. It's living with a sense of ease, vitality and deep inner calm.

The Zone is an altered state of consciousness-a state of perfect focus, peace and high performance. When you're in The Zone you are your true self. You regain your natural intuitive ability to be where you need to be to get what you want. You don't have to effort when you're on a roll. Everything just seems to fall into place by itself. You feel expanded, bigger than life. Often you revel in the exhilarating sensation of being outside your body, controlling what's happening to you from a broader point of view.

A Space of Magic and Marvels

In major Zone adventures, your consciousness moves outside the limited physical universe. When this happens, you're no longer bound by the physical laws of time and space. You can stretch-and contract-time and space to your desire, just as sports stars who make the impossible catch or dancers who fly effortlessly across the stage. You seem to have all the time you need to do what you need to do. Life is fun when you're cookin'. You feel serenely emboldened. Life becomes a game that you enjoy playing.

Jocks and Ballerinas Share a Secret

What do top professional athletes, dancers, salespeople and detectives have in common? They have refined the pursuit of The Zone down to an art! They all appreciate the value of developing a reliable way to enter The Golden Magic Zone. They know that finding a personal portal to The Flow is the key to producing consistent peak performance.

A Wellspring of Creativity

In The Zone you achieve your goals quickly because you're tapped into your natural spiritual power. You focus on a wish and it manifests almost instantly. You do the right thing immediately without second-guessing yourself. You generate boundless energy for your job, relationships and creative pursuits. You're able to relax whenever you want and simply delight in the beauty and wonder of the Now Moment. Being consistently in the groove, you miraculously transform your life into a journey full of abundance and success.

A Mystical Place

In major Zone encounters, you tap into your innate telepathic abilities. You communicate without words. You read other peoples' intentions before they're expressed. You often know what your partner is going to say before he or she utters a word. The self-talk that is always critical is no longer there to diminish you. You feel as if you can do anything-and you do. You're in the present moment. Your mind is clear. You have a sense of inner knowing that cannot be learned from a book, but is only known by accessing it directly.

Your Natural State

Such spaces are often seen as mystical, religious states. In reality, being in The Zone is just you being more you. Being in the right place at the right time is your natural state. Recognize, cultivate and relish the times when you enter The Zone. The more consciously you acknowledge, appreciate and savor the Flow, the more accustomed you become to your natural state of feeling good! The more you vibrate with the joy of aliveness, the more you will attract people and circumstances that perpetuate your stay in The Zone!

(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

About The Author

Drawing from the wisdom of native cultures and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his practical approach to healing and transformation as an author, life strategy coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, vision quest guide and international seminar leader with his empowering "Dream Workshops" and free, fun "Prosperity Ezine" at www.TheDream.com.

Stopping Time
 by: Keith Varnum

Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I've got to switch channels. I don't like my chances on this station. Infused with youthful caprice, I mused to myself about my predicament. Enjoying the intense body rush of imminent danger, I was torn between prolonging the joy-terror and searching for an escape from my imminent demise.

I'd been in similar dire situations before and I'd always evaded the worst. How did I get out of danger before? Quick, you idiot, think! You don't have all day!

The impending disaster pumped my adrenaline-and my memory. I let go, I reminded myself. That's what I did in past situations. I just let go of having to control the whole thing. I released my need to be right about how life operates. I allowed the picture to change. That's when circumstances shifted and something unexpected, seemingly impossible, occurred. Let the channel switch, Keith! I coached myself into letting go into safety once again. Averting the most probable outcome, I robbed death of its prey yet another time.

Yes, rather unceremoniously, I was reminded of the natural malleability of the physical universe by a six-hundred-foot free fall straight down a sheer cliff. The threat of a perilous plunge into empty space re-impressed on my young mind the lessons I learned in similar predicaments: go with the slide on the ice rink, relax into the tackle in football and turn toward the skid in the car. Now I call it "the decision to surrender." Back then, I called it "just letting go."

I was fourteen. My girlfriend Cheryl and I decided to go for a hike down a precipitous gorge in upstate New York. We had most of the crisp spring day to play before reporting to work as dinnertime servers at a local restaurant. The trail was winding and steep. Three hours later, we arrived at the bottom of the granite and shale canyon.

After spending an afternoon swimming in the rippling stream, it dawned on us we didn't have enough time to hike back up the zigzagging trail to the top and get to work on time. We concluded we could still make it back to our job deadline if we climbed straight up the vertical cliff.

Ascending the steep cliff turned out to be quite easy. Protruding from the sheer granite wall were small rock ledges as easy to climb up as rungs on a ladder. Within thirty minutes we were twenty feet from the top. We would have been home free, except that the previous night's rain had soaked the soil near the crest, loosening the shale ledges. As we neared the top, each time we placed a foot or hand on the next rock outcropping, the shale broke away from the cliff. Very quickly, we found ourselves frantically moving our hands and feet from one shelf to another, searching for something solid to support us in order to clamber up the last few feet to safety.

With total panic on her face, Cheryl looked over at me-a silent plea for guidance screaming over the space between us. I didn't know what to do next. I had no answers. Like her, I'd also run out of ledges within reach to grasp. I felt myself beginning to slide down the cliff.

Suddenly, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes! It was like watching a movie being projected a few feet in front of me. During the first second of my descent into the abyss, I re-experienced every major positive event of my life in full, living color, including all the emotional and physical sensations of each incident. I re-lived every significant birthday party, picnic, vacation, romantic date, school honor, sports achievement and family celebration of my short life. This vivid, comprehensive review was very rich and satisfying. Considering my precarious situation, an incongruous aura of calm and fulfillment swept over me.

The flashback ended as abruptly as it began. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of being suspended in time and space between the life review and the next moment of present time-me in the midst of my slide down the cliff. During that seemingly eternal moment, the realization hit me like a ten-ton boulder: I don't want to die! A wave of acute appreciation flooded over me. I love life. I want to continue exploring what life has to offer. I remember whispering to myself, I want to live, as if one part of me were informing another part of me.

Then, swoosh! I plummeted into the vast emptiness beneath me. Some alert, unknown aspect of my being spontaneously yelled to Cheryl, "Lie flat! Relax! Let go!" Hearing the words that came unbidden from within me, I, too, obeyed, and consciously chose to surrender to the inevitable.

I don't remember anything after that decision, including what logically should have been a very abrupt and painful landing. All I know is, Cheryl and I were suddenly sitting in the stream at the bottom of the gorge where the current formed a small pool. Although the water in the pool had turned crimson with our blood, neither of us was experiencing any aches or discomfort. The bleeding came from small, razor-thin cuts all over the fronts of our bodies. But we had no broken bones, bruises or other injuries. It was as if the only purpose of the scratches was to remind us that, yes, indeed, we had just gone free falling down a six-hundred-foot cliff.

After a short period of wonderment, we practically danced up the long, circuitous trail to the top of the gorge. We were so thankful-and simply happy to be alive, in one piece and being given a second chance. The climb was effortless.

Crisis. Emergency. Danger.

These threats to my well-being were my early teachers. From these seeming enemies, I learned that when faced with an expected outcome I don't like, I have an option. I can open to an alternative scenario, another framework, a different set of rules. I jokingly call my ploy "switching channels." It's an apt metaphor. I simply let go of my old way of viewing the world and allow a fresh perspective to emerge-or not! After all, when we truly let go, anything can happen! More often than not, however, I find myself shifted to a new reality-a different station with a new story line that has a much better ending! This is the stuff of miracles and alchemy.

(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

About The Author

Drawing from the wisdom of native cultures and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his practical approach to healing and transformation as an author, life strategy coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, vision quest guide and international seminar leader with his empowering "Dream Workshops" and free, fun "Prosperity Ezine" at www.TheDream.com.

Leading To A Preferred Future
 by: Jeff Earlywine

February 01, 2004
Footprints and Monuments
"Leading to a preferred future"
By Jeff Earlywine

Last month's edition of Footprints and Monuments illustrated a parallel between leadership in the face of disaster and the voyage of the Apollo 13. As you will remember, an explosion on board forced the crew to circle the moon without ever landing on their prized target. Obviously, they didn't have the preferred ending to their trip in space. But they did get home alive, and were very happy about that.

This month's edition is a continuation of last month's. We will explore in detail what it means to have a committed team that refuses to lose, a team that constantly thinks outside the box, and a team that focuses on a preferred future. It will provide you with skills and ideas to help you develop your own preferred future. It will do this with another parallel - stockcar racing.

Stockcar racing is one of my favorite sports, and has been most of my life. I have spent hours sitting on a hard bleacher watching 43 drivers race at speed exceeding 200mph, and doing it just inches from each other. It is a sport that has evolved from a bunch of moon-shiners showing off their "beefed up" cars to now a multi-million dollar industry full of high-tech computerized equipment. In the middle of all these high-powered engines, fast turns, and million-dollar paychecks are some basic principles to help you develop your preferred future. Below are five of those principles first explained in racing terminology and then made applicable to your life.

Mental Preparation

In a driver's mind, the race has to start before he ever arrives at the track. The driver and his team have to be mentally prepared to endure whatever it takes to win. That's the No. 1 priority, the No. 1 goal: Win! Losing is not an option!

In order for you to win, or overcome your day's challenges, you must be mentally prepared. I have found that mental preparedness and success in my day comes from...

    * Preparing and planning the day before.
    * Expecting the best but being prepared for the worst.
    * Remembering to keep God first in my day - long before my appointments and tasks.
    * Thinking outside the box - just because you have never done it this way before does not mean you can't or shouldn't.

Sound Car

Every racetrack is going to have its peculiarities and a different set of challenges to overcome, but the driver and crew must identify them beforehand and factor that information into the set-up of the car. Adjusting the car to each track is the single, greatest challenge, week-in and week-out, for every driver and team. Every piece of equipment on the car must be thoroughly checked. The engine has to be lovingly massaged by every member of the crew that works on it. By the time that green flag drops on Sunday afternoon, car, driver and team must be as one and as close to perfect as possible.

The better we stick to our priorities the more successful we will be. If priorities are what keep us heading in the right direction, then our plans are the equipment that must be adjusted and analyzed with a fine-toothed comb. The old saying is true, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail."

Track Position

Track position is the key of keys when it comes to winning a race. The secret to establishing track position comes down to risk. While the crew chief can keep the driver posted on what his car can do, knowing when and where to do it is still left up to a driver's instincts. Trying to pass a car that's going the same speed is very difficult. You need the right combination of timing, knowledge of the track and risk.

Track position in racing is just as important as being in the right position at the right time in life. It has been said, "It is not what you know, but who you know that counts." That may very well be true, but if you are not in the right place at the right time it does not matter. So the question is, "How can you be in the right place at the right time to capitalize on an opportunity?" The answer, at least for me, is to focus on preparing for the opportunity instead of always looking for the opportunity. I am of the opinion that if you prepare well enough the opportunities seek you out. Then, when you get an opportunity, go at it with a refuse to lose attitude.

Pit Stops

Making up time on the track, only to give it back in the pits, is one of the surest ways to stay out of Victory Lane. While most pit stops routinely take between 15 and 20 seconds, and might only occur four or five times a race, they can combine to total the most significant minute in a three-hour race.

A pit stop in your life is R&R, rest and relaxation. Move of us live lives going Mach 3 with our hair on fire, and love every minute of it. However, pit stops are the key to life's success. Just like in racing, the pit stops in our lives are short and few in number. But they are extremely important. Also, as in racing, our pit stops must be intentional, planned out, and effective. The goal of each pit stop in our life should be to refuel our tanks, clean our view of life, and provide strength enough to over come life's challenges.

Luck

If luck is where preparation meets opportunity, then bad luck is where preparation meets circumstance. More times than not, cars involved in accidents really did nothing wrong. They just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (circumstance). It is inevitable that a certain amount of bad luck will take place in every race.

I don't know about you, but this sounds just like my life. I have found that bad things do happen to good people, and that good luck shines just as often. Many times it is our perspective and attitude towards things that makes all the difference. We find in the following scripture, taken from the book of James, that life is full of up and downs, but all can work for our benefit.

James 1:2-5 -

2. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

3. because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

4. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

5. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (NIV)

Thanks for reading, and I hope that one or all of these keys will help you win life's race today and assist you in achieving your preferred future.

Footprints and Monuments is a free monthly leadership and motivational e-newsletter. No names receiving this e-newsletter are sold or distributed to any other source. You are encouraged to forward this monthly article to anyone in your address book. To un-subscribe please reply back with "Un-subscribe" in the subject field.

www.jeffearlywine.com

About The Author

Jeff Earlywine - www.jeffearlywine.com
[email protected]

How To Maintain Your Weight Loss Motivation
 by: Jason Barger

One of the hardest aspects of getting yourself into shape, is maintaining the motivation you need to achieve your weight loss goals. Just about anyone will lose some of their enthusiasm, a month or so into a weight loss program. I have learned a few things that keep me motivated and dedicated to achieving my goals. They have helped me tremendously and I think they will help you as well.

Here a just a few of the many things I do to motivate myself.

Weigh yourself once a week:

I weigh myself at least a few times a week. In the beginning of your program once is plenty because you don’t want to discourage yourself. The reason I weigh myself once a week is because it can be easy to look in the mirror and justify, in your head, that you aren’t gaining any weight. If you look at a scale every week, you know for sure whether you need to make changes or not.

Keep a picture of the heavier version of yourself in plain sight:

I have a picture of me at my son’s baptism next to my bed. I was 20-25 pounds heavier in that picture than I currently am. This gives me a chance everyday to see what I don’t want to slip back into. It reminds me why I lost weight and keeps me from sliding back into old habits. Also, it will just remind you of how far you have come and how much better you look now.

Visualize everyday:

You should visualize everyday, how you want yourself to look. If you have achieved your goals then just imagine yourself doing some new things, in your new body. This really does help. I try to visualize myself everyday doing something that I plan on doing in the future. This can help with goals in any aspect of your life. I used to do this while running, when I first started my program. I would picture myself mentally, running and looking the way I wanted to look.

Set your sights farther and higher:

If you have already reached your ideal weight, then you should set some new goals or standards. If you don’t, you will probably fall back into old habits. It is harder to maintain something, then to achieve something new. So if you have reached your ideal weight, then why not set a goal to add some muscle. Or maybe, set a goal to get absolutely ripped. In perfect shape, like you never imagined you could. Look high and far, set your goal and then reach it. Nothing will keep you more motivated then setting and achieving new goals.

Those are just a few of the ways that I use to keep myself motivated. There are thousands more. To find other motivating ideas just do some searching on the internet. You can find thousands of articles and websites dedicated to weight loss and health.

Being healthy and losing weight can change every area of your life. It is amazing, the possibilities we begin to see, after reaching an achievement such as weight loss. Don’t lose the momentum. Keep it turned up and start using it to help you with other areas of your life. But most of all, never give up. There will always be obstacles in any thing you do in life. Just don’t use them as excuses to hold you back from achieving the ultimate freedom you deserve.

About The Author

This article was written by Jason Barger. Jason has been helping people lose weight with his breakthrough book, Primal Weight Loss. To learn more about his philosophy and programs you can visit http://www.primalhealth.com.
[email protected]

Where Are The Punctuation Points In Your Life?
 by: David Bates

We live in a very busy age with many pressures and demands on our time. Often in workplaces there is a culture of busyness, where it’s important to be seen to be busy and stressed. Isn’t that how you show that you’re important and care about your work? Outside of work there are often enormous numbers of things competing for our time and attention: family, friends, hobbies. And if we relax in front of the TV we see adverts for things we "should" have, or see things we’d like to, or "ought" to be doing. It can feel overwhelming at times which is why many people find themselves rushing, rushing, rushing, busy, busy, busy, with barely time to draw breath.

If you find yourself in that situation, you may want to ask yourself where the punctuation points are in your day. Think about how a book is structured: chapters; sections; paragraphs; sentences; and the sentences themselves divided up with commas, semicolons, etc. It’s structured in this way to enable us to make sense of the words. The punctuation points not only provide a structure and context so that we can understand the meaning of what has been written, they also tell us where we can take a breath. To find out the truth of this, why not read this paragraph out loud twice, either to yourself, or somebody else. The first time try and read it as if there was no punctuation, in a monotone voice, continuously until you run out of breath. The second time you read it pace yourself, vary the tone of your voice, and follow the punctuation. See what difference it makes. In fact why not try it now?

That was interesting wasn’t it? So in a busy day, what might be your punctuation points? In the workplace you might leave your desk to get a drink. At lunch time you could leave the building, if only for a few minutes, for a complete change of scenery. At home, does the TV have to go on automatically? Could you just sit quietly for a short while and start to notice where there is any physical tension in your body and start to release it?

And when you actively find these punctuation points you’re expressing the first of the Five Elements of Personal Development © by taking responsibility for yourself

About The Author

David Bates is a life coach, published author, public speaker and workshop leader. For further information and for pages of tips, tools and resources for your success, visit: www.treeoflifecoaching.co.uk
[email protected]

What’s in Your Blind Spot?
 by: Sulana Stone

We frantically search for our “lost” keys that are lying in plain sight on the kitchen counter. We don’t we see the keys. Why not? Because we already decided “the keys are not there.” And once we make that decision, we create a blind spot in our awareness. The result is that we don’t see the keys where we don’t expect them to be.

If we miss seeing keys out in the open because we decide the keys aren’t there, what else could we be missing because we decide it’s not there? Could we be “blind” to other possibilities and opportunities that are right under our nose?

What’s New, Pussycat?

A mind-blowing scientific experiment reveals how the early physical environment of kittens determines what they are able to see—and not see—as they grow up. Two-week-old kittens are placed in a room with walls painted with vertical stripes and kept there as they mature. Almost from the moment they are able to see, the kittens live in an environment of vertical stripes. Later, the cats’ world changes. They’re removed from their vertically striped surroundings and placed in a room painted with horizontal stripes. Surprisingly, our furry felines don’t see the horizontal stripes. Bang! They run right smack into the walls painted with horizontal stripes, time and time again. Why? Scientists discovered that because the cats don’t have horizontal stripes in their environment as they grow up, the brains of the cats don’t develop the neurons that recognize horizontal stripes. So when elements they’ve never been exposed to appear in the cats’ world, their brains don’t register the new elements in their environment. Yikes! Could we be unable to recognize elements in our current environment because those elements were missing when we grew up? Yes, we could! But before we look for aspects of life we might not be seeing, let’s look for aspects we might not be hearing as well.

What’d You Say?

Studies with babies reveal how the early auditory environment of babies determines what they are able to hear—and not hear—as they grow up. Research shows that young babies have the ability to hear the full range of vocal sounds produced by the speech of all the human languages in the world. But then, babies are raised hearing only the narrow range of speech sounds within their social environment. Eventually, because they hear solely the speech sounds found within one culture, babies lose their ability to distinguish the full range of vocal sounds found in all human cultures.

This explains why Japanese children are unable to pronounce the English “r” sound that does not exist in their native language. “The common result,” according to a researcher at the University of California, “is essentially that if perceptual experience is limited, one will not be able to perceive things outside that experience.” This is why, in everyday life, we’re not able to recognize—or “hear”—concepts that we weren’t exposed to in our upbringing.

Casting a Spell of Limitations

We all grow up in families and societies where we are only exposed to a limited view of life—like kittens only viewing vertical stripes and babies only hearing speech sounds from their social environment. Our “stripes” consist of a limited range of cultural patterns of sights and sounds. These cultural patterns give signals to the brain that tell us “the way life is” within that limited environment. And the brain mistakenly “thinks” it knows “the way life is” outside of that narrow-minded environment.

Growing up in a limited environment has a comparable effect to being hypnotized. For example, when people are hypnotized, they can be told that certain elements exist or don’t exist in their environment. With hypnotic suggestion, a person can be told that there are no red books in a bookstore. And, even though many of the books are red, the person won’t see any red books. The hypnotic suggestion creates a blind spot, or filter, in the person’s perception of the world.

Similarly, we’re hypnotized by our parents and society to see certain aspects of reality—and not to see other aspects of reality. Then, as adults, we only see the range of possibilities that we were exposed to as we grew up. We don’t recognize any alternatives outside of the range of viewpoints presented to us in our youth. Options and opportunities that we weren’t exposed to don’t even register with the brain.

By the very nature of how we’re raised, we develop blind spots. And these blind spots often prevent us from seeing—and taking advantage of—options that are life-enriching and valuable to us. To what degree do these blind spots limit the abundance in our lives? What kinds of options could we be missing? Let’s “see.”

Missed Opportunities

On the first day of a four-day workshop I was attending, Martin complained that he didn’t have a way to get back and forth to the workshop everyday. He had camped several miles outside of town down a narrow, rough dirt road. Our disgruntled camper talked on and on about his dilemma. Martin had decided that there was no way to get to the workshop other than to walk. He couldn’t see any other options. He felt hopeless and discouraged. So, when someone in the group offered to give Martin a ride every day, Martin didn’t even hear the proposal. He was totally hypnotized by his belief that “there is no solution other than walking.” The person offered the ride several more times, yet the unexpected proposal continued to fall on Martin’s deaf ears. Finally, several people in the group yelled at Martin that he was not hearing the offer of a ride. This group outburst snapped Martin out of his hypnotized state, his blind spot. Only then was Martin able to recognize that his transportation issue was resolved.

Julia’s dream was to move out of her cramped apartment and buy her own home. Since she didn’t have enough money for a down payment, she was busily doing everything she could to earn more income. When someone heard about Julia wanting a home to live in, they offered to give her their home for a year rent-free while they went overseas. Julia turned down the invitation. She didn’t recognize her good fortune because the opportunity didn’t appear in the form she expected. Julia was fixated on the idea that to get the living situation she wanted, she had to own the house. She was hypnotized by her belief that “I don’t have enough money to buy my own house.” Her blind spot prevented her from seeing another solution to her problem. It didn’t register to her that her need had been fulfilled. She rejected an offer that would have allowed her to move out of her tiny apartment. If she’d accepted the gift, Julia would have enjoyed living in a spacious home right away. And she would have saved enough money during that year to reach her ultimate goal—to make a down payment on her own home.

“The Way Life Is?”

When we’re young, we learn a lot about “the way life is” by observing the adults in our lives. And, these adults can, for the most part, only pass along their limited views of life.

For example, did you grow up being instilled with the viewpoint that “people work at jobs they don’t like to pay the bills?” If you were exposed solely to this narrow perspective about work, you might not recognize the available option that “people work at jobs they love that also pay the bills.” When you were young, perhaps you noticed that “many adults compromise and sacrifice in order to make a relationship work.” Spell-bound by watching this model of how partnerships function, you might not be able to see another viable alternative in which “adults find ways for relationships to be easy, fun and mutual.” If all you saw as a child was that “people become more stubborn and opinionated as they grow older,” then you wouldn’t have it in your realm of possibilities that “people become more flexible and allowing as they grow older.”

When our role models demonstrate that it’s “normal” to have jobs without passion or relationships without mutuality, we don’t see other options when we become adults. When our elders aren’t open and adaptable, we find ourselves accepting rigidity and narrow-mindedness as normal.

Unfortunately, the cats keep bumping into horizontal stripes for the rest of their lives. Likewise, many of us keep bumping into our personal “invisible” limits for the rest of our lives. But we don’t have to.

Intuition Saves the Day

There’s a way out of this conundrum! There’s a way around the fact that our mind is programmed with limitations. We’ve got intuition! Using intuition, it doesn’t matter that our brain doesn’t see or hear new life opportunities. Only the mind is restricted by the narrow options of childhood. Only the mind is hypnotized. Our intuition doesn’t have these limitations.

Using intuition, we have a natural ability to see into our blind spots. Although the brain doesn’t develop neurons to recognize “horizontal stripes,” intuition can detect them. Although the mind is hypnotized not to discern red books, intuition can discern them. Not being brainwashed with limitations, intuition can see options the mind doesn’t see. Intuition can lead us to options that didn’t exist in our childhood environment.

If we truly desire to discover fresh options, our intuition will guide us all the way. There are lots of other fulfilling alternatives out there. We just don’t see them. The more we stop looking with our minds and start looking with our intuition, the more opportunities we’ll see for happiness and prosperity. Our intuition will help us find the harmonious and loving future we dreamed of when we couldn’t wait to grow up!

About The Author

Sulana Stone, personal life coach, vision quest guide and animal communicator, assists people to discover and express their life purpose through private sessions and workshops. She provides hot tips and fresh articles for people who want more love in life, yearn for a more fulfilling job, or seek a purpose beyond the mundane in a FREE Prosperity Ezine at www.SedonaVisionQuest.com. Contact [email protected] or 602.861.2631.

Heal and Release the Past
 by: Stephanie Marrone

I had a completely different idea for my main article but certain events that happened today helped me to tune into my soul and listen for what I really want to write about.

It’s a New Year and I am feeling elated about the possibilities for me this year. When I wrote my premier issue of Passion and Purpose, I wasn’t quite how it was going to unfold.

I took another full time job while I am building a strong solid foundation for my coaching practice. At first, I was looking for something part-time. However, this opportunity presented itself out of pure synchronicity and I am sure of it. My childhood friend works for a family owned real estate company and they were looking for a full time receptionist. I interviewed for the position and it was offered to me the same day. I started the job on December 29.

Okay, so what does my job situation have to do with healing your past?? You see, my childhood friend and I lost contact at one point for eight years. When we connected again it was as if no time had passed. I recently moved to an apartment three short blocks away from her without even realizing it. The next thing I know her and I are working for the same company. We drive into work every morning and talk about the old days. She knows and has witnessed the environment that I grew up in. Let's just say my childhood wasn't the most loving at times. My point being is that there is no coincidence that we live near each other and work together. She is helping me heal the past by the great laughs we have every morning and the connection we still have after 25 years. In talking about certain past incidents with her I realized that I still might be harboring resentment from past hurts. I am working on making peace with the past and making room for all that is possible in 2004.

Put the past where it belongs. Embrace the good times and forgive the bad times. Love every single part of you and know that you are worth having everything you desire. Whether we want to admit to it or not every experience we have shapes who we are. I am a more confident, stronger and passionate human being because of the experiences I had. I now know that I can create my life and that the only limitations are the ones that I might self-impose.

Make 2004 your best year yet. Release, heal and make room for all the magic that is in store for you.

About The Author

Stephanie Marrone was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. She is the owner and founder of Passionate Living, Inc. Stephanie's mission is to empower, encourage and inspire men and women all around the world to live a life that is authentic and aligned with their true values. In addition to heading her own coaching business, she is the author, editor and publisher of Passion and Purpose, a monthly e-newsletter dedicated to helping individuals live their best life.

Stephanie's background includes 10+ years experience managing the time of busy executives from different business sectors ranging from finance to healthcare. She became a life coach because she cares about people and is passionate about working with and supporting enthusiastic people who want to live richer, passionate and purpose-filled lives. Stephanie received my coach training and certification through Coach Training Alliance and is working towards taking advanced coach training so that she can keep current with the coaching profession and always add more value to her clients. She is a proud member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), International Association of Coaches (IAC), Coachville, and the National Association for Female Executives (NAFE).
[email protected]

Setting High Personal Standards
 by: Steve Brunkhorst

In his book, "The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness," author Greg Anderson wrote, "Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day and every decade worth looking forward to."

He also reminded us that, "When we change our perception we gain control. The stress becomes a challenge, not a threat. When we commit to action, to actually doing something rather than feeling trapped by events, the stress in our life becomes manageable."

There are times when it's easy to feel overwhelmed and trapped by situations that we'd rather not face. These situations might even be extremely unfair.

It's easy to focus on how terribly unfair someone might have treated us. It makes sense to believe that unfair things should not be happening. Simply pretending that a problem doesn't exist is much easier than dealing with it directly. However, stress builds, the situation doesn't change, and it might grow worse.

In fact, focusing on the way things should be instead of dealing with the way they are can lead to disaster, both physically and emotionally.

Winners set high standards for dealing with problems. They set rules for what they will accept and expect from themselves and others. They realize that it won't work to stay on a road of denial, and it won't work to lash out against unfair situations by resisting what is true. They have a much more workable plan.

Indeed, winners keep a positive outlook. However, they know that they must do much more than simply think in a positive way. They mobilize resources and prompt new solutions. Self-confidence and courage allow them to take responsibility for situations, and take well-planned problem-solving actions.

When a solution is not possible, they take valuable lessons from the event. They know there is tremendous life-time value in all experiences.

Ask yourself: What are my standards for dealing with problems? What are my boundaries for the behaviors, attitudes, and actions I will accept from myself and others? What are the highest standards that I will expect myself to live by at all times in each important area of my life?

Establishing and living with high personal standards can prove to be a tremendously liberating and life-changing move. It can help in making wise and informed choices. It can assist us to experience more peace, contentment, and prosperity today and throughout the years to come!

About The Author

(C) Copyright 2004 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve coaches talented individuals who want to enhance their sense of personal empowerment, self-confidence, and creativity. He is also the editor of Achieve! Ezine, inspiring, motivating, and entertaining 60-second nuggets to lighten up your day, and help you reach a greater level of achievement. Steve invites you to visit his website today at http://www.AchieveEzine.com

Myth And Reality
 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 2, 2004

I am at a complete loss about what to do with my mother-in-law to be. In a nutshell, she's verbally abusive. She treats my fiance like a child, and yet he is 30. She calls me stupid. He has put up with this behavior all his life and won't stand up to her. I love my fiance, but if this is how it's going to be the rest of our lives, I'm having second thoughts.

She's an unreasonable person who throws a fit whenever people don't do things her way. I've done my best to keep peace with her. I treat her kindly and do my utmost to be respectful and listen to her.

I know I need to be more assertive and set some boundaries, in a kind manner of course. I believe in treating others with respect no matter the difficulty of the situation. Sadly, she could care less about others' feelings. My fiance's a wonderful guy, but how do I deal with his mom? When we announce our engagement, she's going to go ballistic.

Danielle

Danielle, in mythology Venus was Psyche's mother-in-law. Venus decreed she would not accept Psyche as a daughter-in-law unless she performed several preposterous tasks.

Great quantities of wheat, lentils, peas, poppy seeds, barley, and millet were mixed together, and Psyche had to sort them by nightfall. Aided by an army of ants, Psyche did it. Another task required Psyche to fetch water from a mountain spring guarded by dragons. Again Psyche succeeded, this time helped by an eagle.

You are writing to us as if we command magical power. We don't. You want to treat this woman as you have been, yet you want her to change. The first time "stupid" came out of her mouth the issue should have been addressed. Ground rules need to be set from the start.

Pretend you are her. Why should she change? You treat her with respect . She is doing a better job of teaching you than you are of teaching her. Turning the other cheek is not appropriate because it will not stop or correct her behavior. When the food is unpalatable, you send it back to the chef.

Have your boyfriend agree to stay on the sidelines, then confront his mother each time she crosses the line of acceptable behavior. If this problem isn't solved before you marry, heed your second thoughts.

Tamara

Sight Unseen

I can't believe I'm writing for advice, but I think the time has come. I have been intimately involved with my lover for two years. She has been in a relationship with another woman for eight years.

Needless to say, I am the other woman in her life. I am at the point where I want to end our relationship. My problem is I don't know how. We started out as friends and have had so many fun times together I'm scared of losing that. I don't want to hurt her, but I am mature and wise enough to know the entire situation seems to be a lost cause.

My lover tells me I am trying to put a time limit on when we will be together, but after two years I feel I have the right to know what the future holds for me but there are no answers.

Susannah

Susannah, Tamara often says, "What most letters boil down to is the letter writer is unwilling to do the hard thing." There's no point in giving you an answer because you already know the answer. But the right answer is the hard thing.

When a relationship is going nowhere, you need to end it. Continuing takes away the opportunity of finding the right person. In addition, ending a wrong relationship gives you the courage to end wrong relationships in the future. It is hard to choose uncertainty, but that is where potential happiness lies.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: [email protected].

How To Talk Your Way To Success
 by: Michael Blackburn

Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to talk positively to themselves as well as to other people. A bit of research will show you how these successful men and women not only visualise their goals but also frame them in words they constantly repeat to themselves.

If it works for them, it will work for you!

How's that?

Simple - wishing or desiring are closely allied to autosuggestion (a form of self hypnosis), a technique that appears to be fairly new, but which was actually known and practised by the ancients.

Autosuggestion means affirmation, a word which indicates the manner in which it is to be used. Autosuggestion is a material act of faith, because a desire must be fortified by the conviction of its realisation.

To give it power it should be expressed affirmatively; in other words, you must affirm to yourself the possession of the things or qualities desired.

For example, say to yourself, "I have," not "I would like to have, a good memory"; or "I have contentment"; or the case of illness, "I am recovering rapidly."

It is most important to understand this difference, and not to say "I wish for such a thing," "I hope to obtain that," for it is only in positive affirmation that the things wished for are realised.

In other words, frame your affirmations in the present tense, to impress upon your subconscious the belief and the feeling that you already have what you desire or have already become what you desire.

Repeat your affirmations with feeling, to reinforce their effect. And it is worth spending time on your phrasing, to make it so each affirmation can be spoken fluently and rhythmically. It's no surprise that some of the most memorable lines are poetic - because they are written with particular attention to rhythm and rhyme. Bear that in mind!

The founding father of modern autosuggestion, Emile Coue, who outlined the amazing principles behind this practice in his classic work, "Self Mastery Through Conscious Autosuggestion", devised one simple phrase which has helped thousands of people over the years: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." Now, I don't know how it sounds in the original French, but that standard English translation rolls easily off the tongue, is rhythmical and supremely memorable!

Affirm what you want every hour, if possible, or, if your occupation does not permit this, do so when walking about, before each meal, and especially just before going to sleep - the effects will soon be apparent.

This method is so simple that its meaning and its effects are easily misunderstood. Suggestion, even without our knowledge, plays a large part in the life of each one of us.

We receive suggestions from our parents and friends, people in all walks of life, from the fashions of the time, newspapers, tv and adverts; in fact, from almost everything.

To resist these suggestions, which are more or less an attack on our liberty, we must learn to suggest to ourselves, in other words to affirm strongly what we wish to be, or what we wish to have.

This constitutes an important factor in making life a success. If your first efforts are not crowned with success, don't be discouraged; have faith, be patient, and good results will convince you of the power of this practice.

While practising autosuggestion, you must be careful not to allow yourself to be influenced by anyone else, for in doing so you may lose ground which will be difficult to regain. And bear in mind also that to assure the realisation of your desires by these means you must communicate them to nobody.

Ardent and enthusiastic desire is an accumulated force, working intelligently to accomplish its own ends. If you communicate to others your projects and desires you lose the best part of this force, which no longer works for the realisation of your wishes.

There is, of course, a way to use positive, affirmative language to influence others, persuade them of your views and add force to your private strategy, but there's not enough room to outline them in this article.

In the meantime keep your desires and practices secret to increase their power; and impress people only with their amazing results!

About The Author

Michael Blackburn BA MA FRSA, is a professional artist, writer & e-publisher based in the UK where he runs a number of websites, including The Hypnosis Collection: http://www14.brinkster.com/brunswald/
[email protected]