? Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!
But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.

? Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

? FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS

? What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

? Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do

? What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

? I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben

? Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects

? Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

? Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?


? Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

? Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a sudden shift of wit!

? A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'

? Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.

? What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.

? Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

? Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

? There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!

? It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!

? Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

? What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

? Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

? How do u know when kids start to grow up?
Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

? A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.

? Fill in the blank with yes or NO only.
_______I M NOT A Male.
Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.

? Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

? Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain

? Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

? Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

? Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.

? I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

? Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!

? Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

? Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!!

? Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!

? SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

? I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.??. Nice Ass!!!

A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

? Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

? When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur

? Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don?t send it back; I've already received hundreds.

? So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie.

? The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......

? Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!

? Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.

? God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

? I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!