Answer this!
Can you answer this ?
If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
Prime minister
Why is the prime minister not seen in the morning. Because he is pm not am.
Computer with a whore
What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
An f****ing know it all.
Man & Chocolate
What is the similarity between man & choclate?
Both make women fat!
Clinton
What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?
They both have slots which say "Insert Bill" here."
Man & Mouse
What the similarities between man & mouse?
They both are surrounding the HOLE.
Michael Jackson
Whats diff between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other you carry groceries in.
Smart blonde and a UFO
What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
There have been sightings of UFOs.
What is four and five?
Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine.
Definition of cruelty
What is the definition of cruelty? Going into a grave yard and singing : wake up its a beautiful morning !
- rabia
Polar bears & Penguins
Why have polar bears never eaten penguins?
Polar bears live on the north pole and Peguins live on the south pole
- Aditya Kumar Agarwal
Music
What's blond, has six legs, and sings like Michael Jackson?
Hanson.
Bravery
what's the definition of bravery?
A man with a bad case of diarrhoea taking a chance with a huge fart.
Dummy
How does a dummy catch a rabbit?
He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.
Being Overweight
When do you know you are overweight? When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.
Beer
Why does beer contain female hormones? When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
Alphabets
How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
Too Fast To Catch
What gets harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath
Which Side?
A plane is flying from Canada to America and it crashes on the border. What side will the survivors be buried on?
They didn't die, they were survivors
Which Planet?
Which was the first planet to be discovered?
Earth
How many sheep left?
A farmer had seventeen sheep, all but nine died, how many did he have left?
9 sheep
Highest Mountain
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mount Everest
Dirty mind
Schwarzenegger has big one, Michael J.fox has a small one, madonna does not have one, the pope has one but does not use it. What is it?
Surname!
Brown Egg White Egg
If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
None. Roosters don't lay eggs
3 Letter Word
know a three letter word, add two more letters and fewer there will be.
Few
What is six inches long, has a head on it, and makes women go wild?
Money
Add Or Subtract
A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds?
Holes
Bricks
How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
1, Only the last one
Smiles
What the longest words?
SMILES. Because it has a mile in the middle.
Hair Dye
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligent
The 4 letter word
what 4 letter word starts with "f" and ends with "k" and if a man can't get it, he uses his hands?
"FORK"
Date
Some newspapers publish untrue news, but there is one thing that is true. What is it?
Date
Spiders
What do you call spiders that have just got married?
Newly Webs!
Heat or Cold
Which is faster, Heat or Cold?
Heat, you can catch a cold!
Fish
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
Cell phones
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones
Age
What goes up and never come down?
Age
Horns..
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't work.
The man with one hand
Where did the man with one hand go after he crossed the road?
To the secondhand shop
Apple Fight
1 day a teacher ask a primary skool student "If you have 5 apples and the student next to your class take 3 apples away". What were you have?
A FIGHT!
Duh
Bill's parents have three sons. The first is named Tom, the second is named Dick. What is the third son named?
Bill
How many apples?
Take 2 apples from 3 apples and how many apple have you got?
2 apples
Pampered cow
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
Skeletons
What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite
Double your money
How can you double your money?
Look at it in a mirror.
Roman Numeral
FOUR is HALF of FIVE. Is this statement True or False? It's True.
The Roman Numeral FOUR (IV) is in the middle of the word Five: F(IV)E
Blonde
HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Black & White chicken
Is Black chicken better than White chicken OR vice versa?
Black! Coz Black chicken can lay white eggs but White chicken can't lay black eggs!
