It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again