May 22, 2006, the 109th Congress 2nd session declared June as Internet Safety Month. Recently, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Cox Communication released a highly disturbing survey of youth between 13 and 17 years old about their use of the Internet.

• 4 percent of the children questioned have had face-to-face meetings with people they met on the Internet. Even one teen meeting a stranger is one too many.

• 30 percent said they have considered meeting someone face-to-face who they know only through the Internet.

• 71 percent reported receiving messages online from someone they didn’t know.

• 45 percent said they have been asked for personal information.

Children have a false sense of safety on the Internet these survey authors posit. It is a common belief among teens that if they use a chat room nickname, people they chat with won’t know who they are. This is not true. It is easy to find a person’s name, address, school and personal data from the nickname. However, a false sense of safety on the Internet isn’t the real issue as to why a teen would be willing to chat with a stranger on the Internet and in 4% of the cases meet the Internet stranger. A child who develops a connection with an adult on the Internet is seeking something which is missing in his/her life.

For example: A child who is painfully shy and fears meeting new people. Whenever it is time for recess, s/he goes off on his/her own, and does not play with the other children. Thus, she/he avoids having to talk to anyone new, and consequently avoids the anxiety associated with new encounters. Child predators know the perfect questions to ask or statements to make to a would-be target to determine if the teen is a child who is seeking something which is missing in their life. They offer love, excitement, physical, emotional, and material comfort, and the means to escape from reality. These can all be rewards. If a child wants these rewards and learns that the Internet ‘friend’ (predator) will allow him/her to escape, or receive love, or have a lot of fun, she/he will probably turn to the Internet the next time she/he feels these needs. This becomes reinforcing, and the cycle continues.

The list of tips for parents to protect their child on the Internet implies a predator could reach through the Computer screen and pull the child into an abyss. These tips include:

• Create house rules. Create simple, easy-to-read house rules about using the Internet and post them on or near the monitor. Enforce these rules.

• Consider security software for your computers.

• Create passwords. Put Internet accounts in the parent’s name, controlling passwords and using blocking and/or filtering devices.

• Don’t be afraid to ask your children to show you their favorite web site and chat rooms. Know with whom your children are exchanging e-mails and chatting.

• Understand the lingo. Instant messaging has its own language.

• Stay alert for warning signs. Be suspicious if your child minimizes the screen when you walk into the room. Be alert to any indication that your child does not want you to know what’s going on online. http:www/azag.gov/childrenspage/index.html

The best tip to protect your child from any would-be child Internet predator is to provide them with the love, nurturing, guidance, connectedness and time they need to thrive in life. The guidance they need regarding Internet conversations, no matter the web site is the same as when a stranger calls on the phone or rings the doorbell.

• Never tell a stranger on the Internet any personal information—the same as NEVER telling anyone on the phone that they are home alone or reveal any identifying information.

• Never trust a stranger on the Internet no matter how kind or friendly they seem to be—or if they tell you, “I know your Mom/Dad.�

• Never meet an Internet friend (stranger)—the same as NEVER opening the door to a stranger.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net