Afraid Of Dying? ... Afraid Of Living!
 by: Edward B. Toupin

Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own immortality." The basic idea of death, or the potential of death, created a mind-numbing fear that, in some cases, forced them into isolation to avoid anything that could increase their chances of dying.

Although this might sound like a gruesome topic, it is important, as one of the most common situations associated with a fear of dying is actually a "fear of living." One fears death because they've not learned how to live. They are afraid that there won't be enough time to live a full life and in the process waste the time worrying about not living. Believe it or not, this is more common than you might think.

One of the other, underlying, reasons for fear of death is the ingrained parental voices of society and religion that, indeed, we will perish in the afterlife. One needs to evaluate the realities of their spiritualism to ensure that those beliefs provide comfort and support throughout life. However, why must one examine spiritualism externally since we are our own gods and our own spiritual essence?

From some of the situations I've noticed in my work and studies, many of my clients, and others, have a distinct belief in something outside that creates their essence --- or on which their essence is based. By believing and honoring this "thing", "being", "organization", etc., they feel as though they are part of something greater. It also provides them with "softer answers" to the "larger questions" --- otherwise known as faith. Indeed, there are no soft answers and it is in those realities that we can grow and eliminate fear.

Of course, I can't blame these individuals for feeling and believing the way they do as their ideas have been handed down over the generations by society and religion. If these ideas were to be ripped from them, it would throw them into a whirlwind of confusion and instill hatred that they were misled all these years.

It is seen by society that control is easier to maintain on fearful "lost sheep", or "cattle", that have faith in a supreme being --- "authority". If people believe in themselves and their own internal gods and spiritualism, then they no longer belong to a group and can no longer be swayed to the will of those in power.

In fact, by allowing people to believe, and teaching such beliefs, in their inner gods and spiritualism, they do indeed belong to a group --- a much larger group consisting of everyone and everything --- this instead of segregating groups by concocted, shaky, and fear-inducing beliefs. Could this be the answer to many of today's problems? Instead of pointing to a multitude of greater beings and dictating what these beings tell each group of believers simply to create a rift at the political and religious levels, perhaps by believing in oneself as the creator and understanding that we are all creators that the turmoil might decrease or desist.

Of course, that would eliminate the separations of political and belief-based organizations. Of course, this could also eliminate the desire to move forward in life as the idea of competition on many levels would change. Instead of working to win, become rich, and attain power, we would work for the betterment in ourselves, of ourselves, for each other, and to increase our own internal power.

The idea of using external influences and deities is primarily based on one's belief system and as such is necessary for many to establish a spiritual side. As noted, it is easier to offload one's own responsibilities and destiny on to a faith-based entity than to accept that we choose and define our own destinies. But, to resolve, it is essential to replace that belief with a sense of reality; however, that is a slow and laborious process that will take centuries to unravel as it took centuries to instill.

In the long run, your internal beliefs and desires are the only things that can provide you with a life of wonder and excitement that overshadows the inevitability of death. As they say, the two things you can count on are "death and taxes." So, such circumstances are inevitable and cannot be avoided. Therefore, they should not be planned into your life! Taxes will happen every year on April 15th and death will occur when it occurs. But, sitting and waiting in the interim for the "inevitable" won't make it go away, nor will it make it easier to manage. Life is the only thing that you have control over, so your only options are, sit quietly and die inside until your physical death catches up to you. Or, you can live life to its fullest and not worry about what will happen in 40 or 50 years. Just worry about how well you can live right now and create something solid for the "memory banks."

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin

What Is Your Legacy?
 by: Karyn Greenstreet

During a recent speech, I told the audience that my mission was to empower the self-employed to succeed. Instantly a hand shot up in the audience. “What’s your definition of success?” I smiled to myself -- I love it when they ask this question!

There are as many definitions of success as there are self employed people. Success could be “hitting my financial goals,” or “becoming a nationally-known speaker.” But I challenge you to add one more component to your definition of success: What will you leave behind as your lasting legacy?

Every single one of us leaves a legacy. Your very existence has an impact on the world whether you intend it or not. So, how do you want to be remembered?

Ask yourself, “If I died today ...”

    * What would I want people to say about me?
    * How have I helped other people?
    * Have I done my best, given my all?
    * Did my life have meaning and purpose?

Working towards a legacy in both your business and personal life keeps you motivated and performing at your peak. It gives a higher purpose to your life and work. Your work has an edge and energy because you’re no longer just “doing work,” you’re building a legacy. Above all, it helps you share the fullest of what you are. And that’s what I call Success!

© 2004 Karyn Greenstreet.

About The Author

Karyn Greenstreet is a Self Employment expert and small business coach. She shares tips, techniques and strategies with self-employed people to create and grow their businesses, stay focused and motivated, and perform at their peak. Visit her website at www.PassionForBusiness.com

How To Get Past a Weight Loss Plateau
 by: Jason Barger

Everyone who has ever been on a diet has hit a plateau at some point. It is that point where no matter what you do, you cannot seem to lose any weight. I myself have hit many of these and I am going to give you a few ways to blast through your weight loss plateau.

Depending on what type of weight loss plan you are on and how much weight loss you have attained already, these factors can play a significant role in halting your weight loss. You just need to see this as a maintenance point and keep charging ahead, while waiting to achieve your goals.

The first thing to consider is that you may be getting close to your ideal weight. I myself quit losing weight once I got down to 175 pounds. It seemed I could indulge a little bit and still stay at this weight. Now, it seems harder to put weight on then keep it off. But, I still need to stay on top of this because I know how quickly I can slip back into my old eating habits.

So if you aren’t already at your ideal weight I am going to give you a few suggestions that may be able to help you break through this barrier. The main thing is to stick to your plan. This happens to everybody and you will get through this plateau.

Mix up your program:

By this I mean you may want to switch things around a bit. You may even want to modify your program. If you have been eating all protein, then you could try switching to salads or all vegetables for a couple days. You could even try switching to all carbohydrates for a few days. If you have been eating all carbs, then maybe switch to all protein for a while. You get the point, try to shake things up a bit and see if this helps or hurts.

Eat Healthier:

If you have been losing weight but not eating very healthfully, then maybe you should try to nourish you body. If you haven’t been eating many calories or eating little or no vegetables, maybe try to get your body some extra nutrients. Try eating healthy foods and fats for a while. Your body may be missing something and this might be just the thing to get your through your plateau.

Start Exercising:

If you haven’t already started an exercise regimen, then you should start. This can boost your weight loss immediately. Exercise and its benefits can range from losing weight to giving you a healthier heart. There are too many reasons not to exercise. If you have reached a plateau in your weight loss, then now is the best time to start exercising. Just get outside and walk for 20 minutes a day. If you can run then run. If you can only walk, then walk. I guarantee you that this will help you break through your plateau.

Go out and eat:

This also could be a good time to just go out and eat whatever you want. This can help you forget about dieting and weight loss for a while and just enjoy yourself. One care free day of eating is not going to sabotage your whole plan. Just eat whatever you want and forget about calories, carbs and fat for a day. This may be just what your mind and body need to get back on track and help you achieve success.

Ok, these are a few of the things I used in the past to get through a weight loss plateau. I am sure they will help you as they have helped me. My main philosophy is to try and maintain your happiness while losing weight. If it is causing you stress by worrying so much about everything, then slow down. You don’t have to lose every pound this week or this month for that matter.

Think of it this way. The longer you take to lose the weight, the less chance you have of putting it back on. I have lost large amounts of weight very quickly in the past. I always seemed to gain the weight back just as quick when I did things this way.

Just remember to eat, drink and be merry. If you do things right you can be happy, healthy and at the perfect weight. Without sacrificing the things you love.

Good luck!

About The Author

This article was written by Jason Barger. Jason has been helping people lose weight with his breakthrough book, Primal Weight Loss. To learn more about his philosophy and programs you can visit http://www.primalhealth.com.
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Busy, Busy, Busy...
 by: Gene Simmons

…busy, busy, busy, busy, busy…busy, busy, bus… OK, slap me with a wet diaper! Enough of that silliness. Most you know what I’m talking about though, right? That’s us! Busy. Doing what? Stuff. What kinds of stuff? All kinds of stuff. Like what? You name it. Give me an example. Can’t. Why not? Too busy…

OK – that’s it! Blow the danged whistle! We need a Time Out!

Holy Smokes, Folks! We’re going outta control. No, not all of us of course. But there are enough of us pushing our physical, mental and emotional limits that it’s worthwhile talking about it. Let me ask you this. When was the last time you just kicked back and looked at the clouds to see what cartoonish kinds of figures or shapes you could see in them? Or the last time you touched a plant leaf and really thought about how it felt and how amazing it was that it was an actual living thing? Or the last time you strolled leisurely down the road or path and thought about nothing in particular? Or the last time you watched a baby sleep and enjoyed the feeling of being a part of a great creation? Or the last time you leaned back in an easy chair and snoozed – not because you were completely worn out, but just because it seemed like a neat thing to do?

How long has it been? An extremely long time? Never? Hmmm…

Many of us unfortunately, are the proud owners of the skewed assumption that we must always be doing something. OK, for those of you who have a tendency to get overly technical, we are always doing something – even when we’re doing “nothing”. You know what I mean. I’m referring to our obsession with physical and mental (and sometimes emotional) activity. We go to work, do stuff, talk with folks, go home, go to the store, go out to an activity, run errands, pay bills, haul the kids around, fix meals, do yard work, do house work, fix stuff, paint stuff, reorganize stuff, buy more stuff, watch TV, surf the web, and on and on. Even our vacations are so crammed with “doing” that we’re pooped puppies by the time we get back home.

Yeah, I know. I have heard time and time again, “But I just have sooo much to do that I can’t get it all done in a day!” Hmmm (again…). And I think to myself that there are several possible reasons for this comment. This person may be in a survival mode of operation and his/her day is filled to overflowing with more than one job, caring for loved ones and trying to meet the demands of everyday living. This can be tough, but we do what we gotta do. Or this individual may just be a bit disorganized and have a difficult time establishing logical priorities. Or, maybe he/she isn’t really all that busy but for some inner reason would like others to think he/she is. Or maybe this person has a difficult time saying no for a variety of reasons. Or perhaps this individual has become so accustomed to being busy or having some type of auditory input or stimulus that to do otherwise is uncomfortable – again, for a variety of possible reasons.

We all have our individual, special reasons for being busy and admittedly, many of the reasons are completely valid. I’m suggesting however, that none of the reasons are valid enough. Every single one of us needs time to kick back for at least a few minutes each day to recharge our physical, mental and emotional batteries. And the busier we get, the more critical this re-charge becomes.

Most of us know, or have known, people who have succumbed to the Go-Go-Go Syndrome. We have seen everything from burn-outs to complete physical, mental or emotional collapse. Suddenly, the go-go-go has turned into a stop-stop-stop. Everything that seemed to be such a high priority dropped dramatically in its ranking – probably closer to the level it should have been at in the first place.

I think it would be very beneficial if we all made the small effort that it takes to reserve at least fifteen minutes a day just for us. Fifteen minutes for a time out to relax, meditate or just let the old brain cells cool down. Fifteen minutes to regroup and recharge our batteries. Just fifteen minutes. About one percent of our day. OK, considering all the other possible options, it might not be the absolute best fifteen minutes you’ve ever enjoyed in life but it’s still worth doing. Give it a try. You’ll like it…

About The Author

Gene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life’s “secrets for survival” in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. This article is an excerpt from Gene's blog posted on 12/2/03. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathzcom/
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The Reason Nothing Happens ... Is Because Nothing Is Happening!
 by: Edward B. Toupin

I hear many clients declare how boring and stagnant their lives have become. As they disclose their concerns, the answer usually bubbles near the surface, but never quite makes it to the top. However, after a few minutes, I usually ask, "What are you doing to re-energize your life?" The most common answer is, "I dunno what to do!" Ah, the answer to the problem in itself!

Life becomes stagnant for varying reasons; however, the most causes include 1) forgetting how to re-motivate oneself and 2) waiting for the next "thing." In both cases, it's a matter of fast-idling in a comfort zone in hopes that something better will come along. However, while you wait and hope for the best, opportunities are passing by because you are not open to having them in your life.

--- Re-Motivation ---

Motivation is tough. It requires an objective, a plan, and a reason. If any of these items are missing, then the reason for the pursuit of a dream disappears. We sometimes become so stuck on a way of life, or a direction, that when we encounter a loss of any type, the resulting change causes us to stall. Life, as we once knew it, is over. This, because we've been so focused on a given path that any sudden changes knocks us off balance. But, the end of one way of life is indeed the beginning of a new life altogether!

In such cases, we have forgotten how to motivate ourselves and decide that it's easier to idle with imitation projects in a comfort zone to fill our voids as opposed to breaking out and chasing a dream. We work hard to stay where we are by devising busy-work to occupy our minds that then become excuses for us to remain stationary. However, re-motivation is a necessary part of life management as it allows us to adapt to changes (i.e., success, loss, and trauma at the end of a cycle or period of extremes) that can affect our lives.

--- Just Waiting Around ---

"Waiting around" is a situation that we all encounter from time-to-time. We just "wait", for any number of reasons, including fear and "holding out for something better." In the interim, our minds run amok and we stall at the top of a downward spiral.

We sometimes become so accustomed to allowing our environment to "rain down" on us that every time we try to move forward, we stop and wait for the "other shoe to drop." This is not an uncommon feeling as many people remain so set in their situations that they fear what might occur if they move on with their lives.

In other cases, we occasionally enter into a situation that "looks good", but we feel that something better is just around the corner. With that, we put our current plans on hold to see what happens next. However, over time, we've accumulated so many unfinished projects that we don't know where to begin. Is it fear of commitment? Perhaps, fear of success? Or, perhaps once we finally make it through to the end of these plans, we don't know what will happen next? Many times, it's not so much that we're waiting for something better, but we're afraid of not having something to dream of or aim for once our current plans conclude.

--- What's next? ---

In all cases, life stagnates because we allow it to do so. During change, you must find something to replace the loss imposed by trauma or success so that you can continue life's journey, albeit, on a new path. However, the only way to re-motivate yourself and stop waiting is to have a Vision or a "dream of meaning". Defining a Vision can make all the difference between stagnation and a fulfilling life.

Instead of waiting or worrying that there will be nothing at the "end of the rainbow", start making plans for your next dream so that you can achieve the life you desire. Don't just hang around in hopes that something better will come along, go out and find that something better, and take it!

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin
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Extraordinary People ... in Mediocre Times
 by: Edward B. Toupin

My grandfather used to speak of the days when people drove the world. It was a time when people were proud to contribute and move society and industry forward at full steam. But, people were proud of themselves! However, before he died, one of his observations was that "we have come to mediocre times."

I was a bit appalled at that statement because, to me, these times were the epitome of existence! However, over the years, I began to see what he meant. It is not so much that our advances are mediocre, but it is the state of humanity and society that has become mediocre in comparison. Yet, we don't see it as such because we live in these times daily and have no real comparison.

In these times, people lose hope. While I agree that, many times, circumstances are to blame for a particular situation; however, we allow such circumstances to overpower us. We need to take control and decide which circumstances are to be allowed into our lives.

In today's environment, there are only a handful of individuals that move the society forward and so many people simply follow. Perhaps the difficulties, stresses, and complications around us have turned many of us into "mediocre people" in extraordinary times. It depends on how you look at it all! But, indeed, this is not the case.

When all need a hero, a hero is not to be found. That is when the best hero we can have is ourselves. That may sound arrogant, but who would you rather be like: a better you, or someone else who might be where you think you want to be, but may have myriad other problems with which you would have to contend. Deal with your own and become the better you!

We are all extraordinary and we all have something unique and phenomenal to contribute. However, we must learn to contribute to ourselves, first, and then consider the contribution to the world around you. It is how you see and feel about yourself that reflects upon and influences your environment and society. Turn inward and exalt the extraordinary you. Learn that the odd little nuances of life are there to strengthen you to create "extraordinary times."

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin
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The Healing Powers of Journaling
 by: Christin Snyder

For the past several years, I have found joy working as a motivational writer and speaker. One of my greatest passions has been the gift of sharing my deep love and respect for the written word. Words are powerful. They provoke thought, stimulate creativity, and most importantly, they hold within them the power to heal. Most people do not realize the incredible life-changing potential writing has.

Journaling is a practical tool that anyone can use to enhance personal well-being. It knows no limitations and it is available to anyone willing to make a commitment to themselves. It only requires minimal investments of time and money, and provides fast results. From the practical to the artistic, there are many varieties of journaling styles, all providing healing benefits.

Through this series of articles, I will explore how journaling heals, journaling styles, and the keys to successful journaling.

How Journaling Heals:

Journaling helps clear the mind

Journaling is an excellent method of clearing mind-clutter and managing thought patterns. The "untamed" mind tends to wander about aimlessly. At any given moment, we have a multitude of thoughts and internal conversations. Our random thoughts can turn into worries, which turn into stress, which can then manifest as conditions like depression or illness. The act of addressing our thoughts and acknowledging our inner voice allows us to clearly express our feelings, motivations, and desires. When we do this, we gain the insight needed to effectively manage them. What many fail to realize, is that even seemingly random thoughts, hold powerful energy. All energy seeks an outlet to express itself, therefore what we think and believe manifests.

Spend some time today consciously paying attention to where your thoughts go. Notice the ratio of positive to negative. When engaging in self-talk, what does the inner voice express? Is it primarily negative self-talk, worry, or other energy zapping emotions? If so, journaling is a positive first step that can be immediately taken to help understand and then redirect these sneaky self-sabotagers.

Journaling Sparks Creativity

It is very important, particularly for those of us in creative fields, to always have an outlet that enhances our creativity by challenging us to think in new ways. Journaling provides that, because it causes us to purposefully express our thoughts and emotions. Through reestablishing a conscious connection to our thoughts, emotions, and experiences we provide the challenge our mind needs to keep its creative spark.

Writing prompts and exercises are a great way to wake up the inner muse. They keep us thinking on our toes, and often become the launching points of bigger projects.

Journaling Keeps Us Honest

When we approach journaling with an open mind and heart, and we commit to being completely candid with ourselves, we open up to limitless opportunity for growth and healing. Through total honesty, we begin to peel away the layers of our psyche. The masks we wear begin to fall away , revealing our true nature - who we are when we aren't "the parent, the employee, the friend" and are just ourselves. Many spiritual paths have taught the importance of knowing yourself. The soul mate in the mirror is worthy of our utmost integrity.

Journaling Allows Us to Express Ourselves Without Judgment

Journaling provides a forum where we can express ourselves fully and completely. If we approach this honestly, a journal can become a best friend and confidant. It won't give needless advice, is never too busy to listen, and is always there for you when needed. Acceptance is a quality we all seek , we have a deep drive to find it. The truth is, the majority of us seek in others what we cannot give ourselves. Journaling opens up the doors to a process of self-acceptance, without which true healing cannot occur.

Journaling Gets Us Organized

By keeping a day planner type journal with notes, it is easier to keep track of "to do" lists, as well as record notes each day of our thoughts, feelings, experiences. Mixing the "practical" with the art of journaling allows us to keep track of everything in one convenient place. Our grocery lists and goal lists, records, and sudden inspirations can be stored electronically in many instances, allowing us instant access with the touch of a button. (Just don't forget to backup ! )

Journaling Enhances Conscious Living

Writing in a journal can have similar effects to meditation, in that it allows us to bring our attention to full and present awareness. This state of awareness shifts our perspective, and allows us to tap into reserves of creative energy. Many find themselves stuck in routines where the creative spark can become lost in the shuffle of the daily grind. When we run on "auto-pilot" we desensitize to other stimuli. Opening up to daily journaling allows us to reflect on the unique beauty of the present moment, and allows us to experience life more fully.

Journaling Shows Progress At A Glance

The key to staying motivated is usually being able to see progress being made. Journals can provide much-needed encouragement for those working towards life-changing goals. When in the doldrums, it's easy to flip back to the beginning to view the path of progress, providing the momentum and motivation necessary to ensure success. Journaling can be a great tool for the instant-gratification junkie in all of us.

All of these are examples of the many ways that journaling can provide the necessary tools for personal empowerment. Journaling is a wonderful journey in self-discovery. I hope this inspires others to take this self-healing challenge, pick up that pen or sit at the keyboard, and make a commitment to enrich life through the healing power of words.

In the remainder of this series, I will cover the keys to successful journaling as well as different journaling techniques. I will show how anyone can use journaling as a tool for transformation.

About The Author

Christin Snyder is a personal empowerment advocate and motivational writer/speaker. Visit her website at http://www.dailypowerwords.com for free journaling exercises and writers resources.

Catch-22
 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 16, 2004

I have been married for a little over seven years, with one 2-year-old son and another on the way. Over time, I believe my wife and I have grown apart. Sexually, we never connected.

Prior to our marriage I thought we had a good connection, but three days after the wedding, she told me being married did not obligate her to sleep with me. I suppose this is true, but I found it heartbreaking. I asked what changed. She said she didn't actually enjoy sex.

I feel she misled me until after the wedding, when she felt secure enough to tell me her true feelings. Over time, despite begging and pleading, listening and soothing, we haven't gotten anywhere. At our last attempt at couples counseling, I explained in manners both gentle and blunt she needs to accept these things.

The more I bring it up, the more my wife is prone to tantrums and throwing things. Over the years this has led to depression, which I handle with medication and regular therapy. I find myself in Catch-22. I can only work on myself in therapy, not on her or our marriage. Yet the marriage is the source of my depression.

Clearly we have occasional sex, since we have a child. But it's infrequent, lacks feeling, and is more akin to making a baby than making love. I love my son and love being a father. My heart desperately wants a connection with a woman. I've gotten myself into a bind, and I don't like my options. Is there a middle road?

Richard

Richard, whatever else marriage is, it is also a contract. Every legal system allows you to terminate a contract when fraud and deceit are involved. What the answer was seven years ago is still the answer. Three days after the wedding, you should have sought an annulment or divorce.

Everything that's happened since is a complication of not doing what needed to be done then. Your wife was so sure you would not leave she could arrogantly admit her deception after the wedding. Why should she change now? What's in it for her?

Your life is like the scene in "Catch-22" where Yossarian bandages the leg wound of his young tail-gunner Snowden, without realizing Snowden is dying from a much more serious wound. Medicating you without any possible chance of a solution isn't the answer. In your case the only avenue may be to remove yourself from the situation.

Find a different counselor, one who can help you work toward a solution. Just because you didn't deal with the problem before doesn't mean you can't deal with it now. It only means the price of the solution will be higher.

Wayne & Tamara

Understudy

A close female friend at work found a new job. I'm currently deciding what to buy to reflect my friendship toward her, and to say I'll be there for her in the future. I know she likes diamonds and blue topaz, her birth stone, but I don't feel comfortable buying jewelry.

I don't want to buy her a card and leave it at that because we've been through a lot together, and I feel I would be letting her down. The problem is she has a boyfriend, and I do not want to act like I'm trying to make a move on her. How do I show my appreciation and say I'll be there for her if things don't go the way she planned?

Trent

Trent, she's chosen her leading man, but you'd like to understudy the role. That's pretty much it, isn't it? If the current production gets bad reviews, you might get the part after all. You want a gift that says I'm not meddling in your relationship, but I'd like to. Though our suggestion is not to meddle, a restaurant gift card makes a nice present, and who knows who she'll invite.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: [email protected].

Gremlins! Time to Take Control
 by: Miami Phillips

It is a wonder we can function at all. Each of us has multiple personality types all crying for attention. Most of us think one way, work another, and feel in a personality style different from either working or thinking styles! And you question why you are sometimes confused?

On top of all that, there is our ego to deal with. Our ego has a representative that might be considered a lobbyist. You know, those people that are always talking to you, promoting their agenda, trying to convince you to do it their way. I call this little guy my gremlin, and he is always trying to sit up on my shoulder and whisper in my ear.

It is very important to know about gremlins. They hate change. (Change hurts) They do not like to take chances. (Bruised egos) No new relationships, no stepping out on a limb, no way! They love comfort, and feed on the negative emotions we all have within us.

Have you ever heard your gremlin whisper to you?

"You can't do that, you don't have enough experience!" (no confidence)

"Wait until tomorrow to finish this, you are tired and need some rest. Besides, who is going to notice?" (procrastination)

"You can't join them, they are better (smarter, prettier, richer) than you!" (jealousy)

We each have a gremlin who can also be called our ego. Our gremlin's voice is sometimes difficult to differentiate from our spirit voice or intuition. One of the keys to life is to learn this difference.

Here are some clues to recognize the gremlin:

Gremlins tend to be negative. Intuition is positive.

Gremlins are mind based. Intuition is heart based.

Gremlins preach procrastination. Intuition doesn't lie.

Gremlins hate change of status quo. Intuition leads you down your chosen path.

Make it a practice to listen closely for your gremlin. Gremlins are impossible to eliminate but they can be exposed, driven into a corner and controlled. Give your gremlin a name and and begin to recognize that you have the power to control it if you choose to use it!

Learn to trust your intuition. This is the universe giving the assistance you require.

To some this may be a little out in left field. I assure you it is not! All I ask is that you try!The worst that can happen is someone overhear you talking to yourself!"Hey Gremlin! I see you! Get back in your corner and stay there! I have no time or patience for your shenanigans today!"At best, you will gain control over that part of you that will lead you to believe anger, hate, greed, jealousy and procrastination are good things.

As always,Your online Coach and Friend,

Miami Phillips www.creativemasterminds.com.
Helping those who are looking find their path - and stay on it.
[email protected]

Quotation of the Week

Believe in ourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

About The Author

Miami Phillips is an ANSIR Certified Personal Coach and the founder of Creative MasterMinds who believes personal growth is an essential ingredient to being happy and contributing to this world. While his main focus is affordable personal and business coaching, he also offers motivational teleclasses, ebooks, reading recommendations and much more. To find out more visit his site at http://www.creativemasterminds.com or send him an email at [email protected]

Review In 29 Steps Plus One
 by: Gianfranco Cazzaro

- I just finished to read a book. A story for kids (yes, I like them), interesting, told with participation and sometimes irony.

-- Which is the problem, then? Simple, if the author have been reading "How to Write a Children's Book in 30 Days or Less" by Caterina Christakos, he could have written it decidedly better.

--- There aren't outcrying defects, but something doesn't work. The characters seem a little flat, descriptions o vercome the story, the author sometimes appears between the lines...

-+ Who is Caterina Christakos, anyway? She is an actress, protagonist of the film "Alone and Restless", and a model for companies like Physique and Sephora.

+ She is also a published author of books like: "And Dreams Lost Along the Way", "If I Could Remember All the Things She Forgot", "How to Completely Blow Your Competition Away at Any Audition" and many articles (search the net).

+- And she also wrote "How to Write a Children's Book in 30 Days or Less". A book that shines like a small jewel. Of course, exists plenty of books teaching to write, addressed to beginners or published authors.

+-- This book is different. It's truly packed with useful advices since the first page. It's a book to use, read, study, take and retake, accompanying you as you write *your* book.

+--- It is dense of precious tips. Sure, not all is new. Some techniques can be found in other books, in writing courses, in internet sites...

-* For example, to carry always a pad and pen, to talk with childrens, to prevent the ill-famed writer's block, to open the story with a bang... Tips perhaps already known, but here they succeed in composing an harmonic, progressive whole, a structured and organized plan.

* The things become interesting when Caterina Christakos explains how to create *incredible* characters. And, incredibly, her method is one of the simplest and more intuitive.

*- Use the common sense, she recommends, look at people around you. Think of them as characters: your uncle behind the store counter, your cousin as a tender school-teacher, that limping boy with thick glasses as a brave hero who saves his friends...

*-- What? You know nobody? Fear not. Switch on the television, leaf through the magazines, surf the net. But then, why to limit yourselves to the human race? In many other species you will find characters for your book.

*--- The main point is this: you must know your characters. And to know them you must sketch their biography. Not only their height, eyes color, mannerisms, but above all their soul and mind, the experiences that forged them, the strong points and the weaknesses...

*-+ Write, write pages about them. Perhaps no one of those traits will appear in the final draft. This is not a problem: these qualities will help you to understand what your characters will make in a specified situation.

*+ Many times will be just your characters who indicate how to pull them from intricate situations, to advance the story, to resolve the problems that will spring out along the road...

*+- The central part of the book is... the ending! It indicates the day by day activities that will allow you to create a draft, edit it, breathe life into your characters, prepare the manuscript for publication - eventually publish it yourselves as an e-book.

*+-- All this in thirty days.

*+--- Look at the calendar on the wall in front of you, or open your diary... Which day is today? Well, between thirty days you could have finished your first book. Or your second, third... who knows?

*-* Thirty days. Thirty-short-days.

** Perhaps you will not produce twelve books this year... Not even Caterina Christakos seems to have made it, as far as I know.

**- Nevertheless, in thirty days you will succeed to create a story with vivid, lifelike characters, that will touch the reader's heart.

**-- And you will not have to neglect your daily activities: for example to bath the dog, vacuum the house, do the laundry, follow your preferred show...

**--- But it doesn't end here. Caterina Christakos makes an interesting recommendation, hard to be found in other books: use your imagination! In a new way.

**-+ Every writer possesses imagination, fantasy, ability to "see things". But often he uses it only to see herself as a scribbler that nobody will ever esteem, an author that the critics will demolish without mercy, a dreamer that no editor will want to publish.

**+ The author invites to make the same, to use the imagination, but this time in a positive manner, in order to create a "treasure map".

**+- The "treasure map" is a sort of great screen in which to see yourselves reaching the success, leafing with satisfaction through your published book, or signing in the middle of a fans crowd.

**+-- It's a technique useful not only to reach the success as a writer, but also to achieve whichever goal in your life.

**+--- You can have your copy of "How to Write a Children's Book in 30 Days or Less" visiting webpage of Caterina Christakos at: http://www.howtowriteachildrensbook.com

**-* What else? Your copy, grab it as soon as possible.

*** And now... see you in thirty days (or less)!

About The Author

Gianfranco Cazzaro is an italian freelance writer, especially dedicated to tales and articles for children and teens. Visit his website (in italian and partly in english) at: http://locomondo.altervista.org or e-mail him: [email protected]

The Chi of New Homes ... Feng Shui-ness and Destiny
 by: Edward B. Toupin

When my wife and I were searching for a new Las Vegas home in 2002, we wanted it to have a solid foundation based on Feng Shui principles. My wife researched the essentials and we decided to build a home that met our needs and supported good Chi. The internal layout of the furniture was a slow process because we want to ensure that everything "was energy (Chi) efficient". We even went so far as to pick a plot of land that had a curvy street in front and located on a hill with a view of a "city of money". With all of the work we did in building the structure and embellishing the interior, the house feels fantastic and the energy feeds us and moves us forward!

This positive experience tickled my curiosity and I decided to assemble some of our observations, based on our initial house hunting and, later, my interest and research. In the Las Vegas area, I focused on Feng Shui "compatibility" based on empty new-builds. All of the homes were built within the last five years and were unoccupied. I acquired a few pictures and compared the structures and placement of built-in components (i.e., doors, windows, and potential placement of furniture as necessitated by the structure) to several books and resources I have available on Feng Shui. In the end, I noticed some consistencies with regard to the class of individual for which the homes were built.

Since we are newbies to Feng Shui, I submitted the research to a few Feng Shui experts to see if we were "in the ballpark". Some of the conclusions I came up with and discussed with these experts were:

    * For homes within the Upper class of society, the structures were built to support power and money.

    * For homes within the Upper-Middle class of society, the structures were built to support employment and consumption.

    * For homes within the Lower to Middle class of society, the structures were built to support production.

    * For homes within the Retirement class of society, the structures were built to support endings and isolation from society (e.g., foot of bed facing an external door).

This all seemed interesting in that the type of home built seemed to fit within a particular need or desire for a given societal class. It also seems to be that people purchase a home that supports the issues and lessons on which they are embarking. This approach is a hidden, and ingenious, psychological "marketing gimmick" for builders. Indeed, most people will always go toward that which is the most comfortable.

Of course, one cannot specifically reference outcome by class regarding the selection of the home structure. However, it seems that the architecture of today reflects the mind set of the country as a whole. While, in the long run, many choose the best house they can afford for their family, comfort, and lifestyle; however, most are unconscious of the effects of the space while focusing on the structural illusion.

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics!

For more information, e-mail Edward at [email protected] or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin

Tips for Better Meditation
 by: Dada Vedaprajinananda

Meditation students often come to me and ask what they can do to improve their meditation. Success in meditation is not the result of any one single factor but depends on sustained and systematic effort over a period of time. However, there are a few tips for meditation, that will help you to improve your performance, regardless of the meditation method that you follow.

1. Prepare your body for meditation

Your physical condition has a tremendous influence on your mind. This is true for your day to day activity, but even more so when it comes to meditation. You can prepare your body for meditation by eating the right food, and by coming to meditation with an empty stomach. Eating the right food, means food which strengthens the body but doesn’t have any adverse affect on the mind. If you consume products that make the mind dull or over-stimulated then it will be much harder to meditate. And whatever your diet is, when you sit down to meditate, it should be on an empty stomach. That is why one of the best times to meditate is in the morning, before you have had your breakfast. Another good time is in the evening, before the evening meal.

2. Prepare Your Mind for Meditation

Just as your body must be prepared, so must your mind. Before you start meditation you must convince yourself, that this period of meditation is your time for personal growth, and that it is important, as important as anything else in your life. When you close your eyes to meditate, you should not jump up to answer the phone, or get ready to leave your meditation due to some slight disturbance. If you convince yourself of the importance of meditation, then your example will also convince others around you and they won’t disturb you during meditation. So, remember your periods of meditation are one of the most important parts of your daily routine, and treat them as such.

3. Sing Before Meditation

The Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore once said, “God respects me when I work, but He loves me when I sing.” That explains the place of song and music in all the great spiritual traditions. Before you begin meditation you can sing spiritual songs, whose meaning elevates your mind. It doesn’t matter if you have “good” voice or a “bad” voice, sing from the heart, and your mind will go to a point that will be the ideal starting point for your meditation.

4. Sit in a Proper Position

Remember when you were in school and the teacher looked around and saw someone slumping in his or her seat, and she said “sit up straight!” She had a good point; when the back is straight the mind is alert. Sit in a position that will keep the back straight. Sit with cross legs in a simple position, or a half-lotus or a full lotus. In addition to making the mind more alert, these positions help you to rest the various motor organs, and provide a peaceful physical base for your meditation.

In the beginning these positions may seem difficult or uncomfortable, but if you can get used to them, they will help you to deepen your meditation.

5. Follow the Meditation Instructions Exactly

Remember carefully what your meditation instructor taught you and do your best to carry it out, exactly according to the instructions. Don’t experiment and make up your own method. The various systems of meditation are based on thousands of years of experience, so you don’t have to try to figure out what to do. Take advantage of the age-old knowledge of the past, and you will make rapid strides towards a bright future. If you have forgotten any part of your meditation method, go and see your instructor and get a review of your lesson.

6. Be Regular in Your Meditation Practice

This is one of the key factors to success. Meditation works, if you work. If you only do meditation once a month or on whim, when you feel like it, then it will be impossible to be successful and realize the benefits of meditation: mental clarity, inner peace, love for others and spiritual awareness. Make meditation a part of your daily routine. Just as surely as the sun comes up each day, do your meditation without fail. Fix a time for it in the morning and evening and do it on a regular basis If you get into the habit of doing your practice regularly, then you have taken one of the single most important steps towards success in meditation, and indeed, in your life.

7. Be Patient

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and similarly you cannot make miraculous changes in your personality or in your spiritual life in just one sitting of meditation. Don’t be discouraged if you feel that nothing is happening. Meditation is a subtle art, the changes come slowly but surely. Keep on practicing and your meditation is sure to deepen and you will indeed be successful.

About The Author

Dada Vedaprajinananda has been practicing and teaching meditation for the past 33 years. He is a senior teacher with the Ananda Marga spiritual movement and also the webmaster of the Ananda Marga website (www.anandamarga.org). Dada is also a writer, singer and songwriter and his work can be found on his website, www.dadaveda.com.
[email protected]

A Gift from the Heart of a Friend
 by: Steve Brunkhorst

She stares at me, and then closes her eyes. A tinge of early dawn plays on her cheek as it peeks through the glass curtains by my desk. I grow warmer, waiting in silence for her first uncertain word and the gentle touch of her hand. She fidgets and rocks in her chair. She cannot hold her thoughts inside much longer.

We've been meeting like this for months. Some days she rambles, pouring out her soul. She talks of yesterday's sorrows and tomorrow's distant shores. She tells me her needs, desires, dreams and passions.

Sometimes she teases me with impossible notions that she only wishes she believed. When she's feeling light, she weaves amusing tales and tells me jokes. I accept her as perfect - always perfect as she is.

Finally she opens her eyes, and a tear drop falls. The emotions are about to flow. "Okay." she whispers under her breath. I see her desperation, and project my own inner light toward her. Her eyes glow with expectancy. She pours out her soul, and discovers buried treasures.

She paints a portrait of her father, and rehearses what she will tell him after all these years. She's filled with hope that he will finally understand. Her spirit lifts. My mind dances furiously recording her thoughts and prayers.

Perhaps if she explains honestly, he will listen, and they can finally heal the relationship. Today she isn't muddling in the past. She is moving forward. Today is a new beginning.

She connects with the core of her being, and pauses briefly to reminisce. She plays with a vivid memory, and more tears come - tears of joy. She pauses again, and I wait.

I grasp every privileged thought and confession. Her emotions rush like unrelenting rivers until she's quiet, still, and at peace.

She whispers, "There's nothing more to say now."

She asks me to remember her most secret longings, to guard them like precious mysteries. Again, I do.

She leaves feeling lighter, at ease, and confident. Will she call him or write to him? I won't ever ask, and she will tell me when the time is right.

Sometimes I wish I could feel emotions like she does, and tell her what to say that would make everything alright. But I will not interfere.

I have no delicate heart like hers - only a large and finite memory to preserve her most endeared treasures.

I'm simply her computer, a faithful ear in the early morning hours when she pours out her soul through my keyboard - a precious gift from the heart of a friend.

About The Author

Copyright 2004 by Steve Brunkhorst. Reprinted from Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to brighten your day, and help you reach a higher level of achievement. Steve invites you to get a free subscription today by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com

Simple Pleasures: Ingredients to Feed Your Spirit.
 by: Nancy D. Bishop

"When we do something we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing. ~ Wayne Mullen

Cold air slips through the cracks in my doorway and around my windows. My cats lie curled up in balls; asleep on plump pillows. They hibernate most days now and only awaken from their dreamy slumbers for bites of kibble. They are unaware of our troops in the Middle East or our economy problems here at home.

What sustains you during tough times? Do you have a network of support? What are the things that comfort you when life seems to be filling your plate with more of the things you find unappetizing? Now is the perfect time to focus on simple daily rituals and pleasures as we live through more turbulent days ahead. Let's call these, recipes for rapture.

Every good recipe must include the right ingredients. Perhaps, it's buying flowers each week to put in your home or, on your desk at work. Most grocery stores have flowers available and you can include these weekly flowers as part of the menu for "feeding" your spirit. Maybe, it's taking a break from watching the news or reading the newspaper. Instead, listen to some music that you find particularly soothing. Try keeping a dream journal to capture your dreams or create a personal altar in the corner of a room. You can mix and match 'ingredients' according to your particular taste. The key is to create a recipe that is authentically soul-satisfying to you. For me, its cups of tea, a daily walk, and watching birds at my window feeder.

Or, be like cats. Take long naps. Choose the most comfortable and warmest of spots; preferably in sunshine and curled up next to someone. Stretch daily and, when it's warm enough, go outside for a little fresh air. Watch birds for entertainment. Play everyday. Make sure you have lots of toys available. Get a good cat scratch especially along the back.

To create a 'purrrrfect' life fill yours with plenty of simple pleasures and daily rituals that bring you comfort and joy.

About The Author

Nancy Bishop is a Life Coach, Writer and Speaker. She blends her passion for tea with life coaching to help busy women catch their breath and connect with their heart to restore balance naturally. For more information, or, to subscribe to her free monthly newsletter, visit her website at www.yourlifeyourway.com.