There are six common ways that people ruin a good conversation. You need to be aware of them to ensure you avoid these common mistakes:
1. Blah, Blah, Blah.
The Blabbermouth is the number one enemy of the good conversation. The other party soon tunes out. Never letting the other person get a word in, the word hog just continues talking.
People who get paid to give talks run the risk of becoming a blabbermouth. It's an occupational hazard of becoming a good speaker, to forget about the listening part of a conversation.
2. Me, too!
Someone innocently starts a topic. The other person basically grabs the ball and runs with it. (Or you might say runs at the mouth with it.) You might mention that you just saw a great movie. The 'me, too' talker will say: "Oh, really? I saw the new Sci-Fi flick..."
Then 'me, too' starts to describe the movie he or she saw, leaving you high and dry with your conversation starter. This is something you might expect from time to time from with a child, but you hope that an adult, with good conversation skills won't drive others away with such annoying behavior. 3. Take My Advice.
At the drop of a hint of a problem, this person is quick to offer advice. They are like a damn about to burst unless they can find someone to dispatch their most needed advice in the world. More men tend to ruin a good conversation with this bad habit then women. Both men and women do it, though.
There is nothing more annoying then talking to someone who suddenly turns into one of your parents. If you have a bad habit of doing this and are wisely trying to break it, let the person finish what they were saying. Then you can ask if they wanted an opinion or just wanted to express themselves.
Chances are they have probably already thought of a solution and just needed a sounding board. Don't offer advice unless asked for it, is still a good motto. 4. We now interrupt this program, because we are rude.
Interrupting before your conversation partner has had a chance to finish their thought is annoying. It shows that you think what you have to say is much more important than what the other person is saying.
5. Contradiction.
A good conversation doesn't play the 'I'm right so you should be wrong' game. A better way is to let the person finish. Then say, " I have a different view than yours. I'll explain..." If you've allowed the other person a chance to explain their viewpoint, they are more likely to listen to yours.
6. Minimal Contributions Only.
There is a big difference between active listening and someone who only takes from a conversation, but never offers anything. It's hard to trust someone who expects you to contribute personal information while they sit quietly, with a minimum of contribution.
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About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: how to communicate
