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I don’t know about you but when I was in my teens all of my choices were made for me, I didn’t go out with my friends much as I wasn’t allowed to mix with them. I didn’t have boyfriends like the other girls at school because my dad was very controlling, almost suffocating.

Don’t get me wrong I had boyfriends he didn’t know about but I could only see them during school hours or when he wasn’t around, even after I left school I used to have to try and sneak off to meet someone, but I lived in fear he would find out.

This was not a normal way for a young girl to grow and find her way in life, learning life’s lessons, making my own decisions and learning from my own mistakes.

I felt my whole life was mapped out for me and I would never escape the confines of my prison walls that was meant to be my home, my safe haven!

It took me many years to realise I do have choices and I can make them without asking permission, I still find it hard though as my husband is also quite controlling, at least that’s how it feels to me sometimes. He says it’s because he loves me and I never wanted to do these things before, I have changed…..I think it’s because he is afraid to let me grow to my full potential, he sees it as a threat.

We all have the capacity to grow and make our own choices but it depends on whether we allow ourselves the freedom to do this.

Where are you these days are you still struggling to make you own choices, are you still chained by the constraints someone else is putting on you?

If you really believe in something you can make it happen but it is totally up to you, don’t rely on anyone to make your dreams come true, if you don’t do it no-one will do it for you.

Maybe you want to get help so you can move on from your past, or maybe you want to a write a book, what ever it is you want to do make a start today.

Pick up the phone and call a counsellor or put some words down on paper and see where it takes you. I am not advocating secrecy here but sometimes it’s the only way we can start to make our own choices and make a difference to our own life.

The starting point for people who have been though any kind of abuse is to forgive yourself, you didn’t ask for what happened, it was not your fault, you are not the guilty person here.

You can only do your best and what you did was to survive.

Now it is your chance to fulfil your dreams, move onto a new life, one you chose to live not one that has been chosen for you.

Make today the day you chose to make your own choices, to live your own life the way you want to live it, it is your choice now.

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