Dealing with People that Drive You Crazy!
We all know someone who just drives us batty. Perhaps theperson is too noisy, too borish, or too flashy. Perhaps theperson is too gossipy, critical, or lazy. There are hundreds ofreasons why we may not relate well to a person.
In my case, the person was both loud and talkative. He thoughthe was funny; I thought he was insensitive. So I decided to justignore him... pretend he didn't exist. That strategy worked wellfor a few months until a close friend accused me of being rude.
"Rude?" I scoffed. "I don't think so."
"Ignoring someone is rude," Pat reminded me. "Acting likesomeone doesn't exist is one of the worst ways you can treatsomeone. You always told me that you hated feeling invisibleyet that is EXACTLY how you treat Earl."
"But he just drives me crazy!" I said trying to defend myself."If I talk to him I'm just going to say something mean androtten. Isn't that worse?"
"At least you'd be acknowledging that he's human," shepersisted.
"Barely!" I said.
I turned away in a red-faced huff. Pat obviously didn'tunderstand! Still her words lingered in my mind. No matter howI tried to justify my behavior, I couldn't convince myself thatshe was wrong.
I had to change my behavior.
I started with very small attempts at conversation. First Ioffered a basic greeting, "Hi Earl."
Then I asked a question and listened to the response. Before Iknew it, we were having real conversations, laughing together,and dare I admit, enjoying our new friendship.
Was it difficult to start talking with Earl? At first, mostdefinitely yes. My first challenge, of course, was to climbdown off my high horse without falling on my face!
But I'm glad that I dropped the mask of indifference. Earl hasbecome a good friend. He can make me laugh at myself and theworld because he doesn't take life too seriously. Yes, Earl canstill be loud. He definitely talks too much; and don't shareyour secrets with him.
He still drives me batty at times, but for the most part, Ijust laugh and enjoy our friendship. It was only afterbecoming his friend that I realized how exhausting it was toignore him. Now my energy is spent on other things... things,like Earl, that matter.
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Copyright 2005. Donna Doyon, Activities Coordinator for Your Virtual Retreat is the author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty. She offers information, inspiration and encouragement to people who want to say goodbye to self defeating attitudes and behaviors and hello to greater success, healthier relationships and more joyful living. Get inspired at her website:
http://www.donnadoyon.com.
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