What motivates you? The boss demanding you finish a project, the client calling you twice a day, the gas gauge near "0", red envelopes from utility companies?
Those are all external motivations, and yes to some extent we all face them every day. But beating your head up against external motivation day in and day out contributes - even creates -- a great deal to your stress, frustration, headaches, mindset, rocky relationships, and in the long run possibly even depression.
There is a better way!
Short of a discovery of fairy godparents, discipline and effort will always be required to get what you want in your life - whether that's being on the next Dancing With Stars tv program, getting the kitchen painted, getting 5000 hits a day on your website, running a marathon, or anything in between. But words like 'discipline and effort' carry a certain feeling with them, don't they? You feel tired already? The good news is that there can be an ease and effortlessness to life that is a more advanced form of motivation beyond the "gotta", "shoulds", "havetos" and "needtos".
So how does this seeming paradox meet in the middle? It means that when you are able to set up your life to connect with your personal, unique style and way you want to live, the struggle is taken out of your life.
What's The Point? Some people equate motivation with will-power. And sometimes "fake it until you make it" behavior is the best way to get you off of dead center. But over the long haul, most of us have had little or no success with simply willing ourselves to do something, even things we enjoy like spending more time with the kids, or starting a home business; and especially those things we don't enjoy or understand.
Sooner or later - usually sooner - willpower kicks out, motivation declines. Because willpower relies on emotion of the moment.
The higher motivation comes when you making the connection of what's-the-point in your own daily life. Why put out the effort? Is it important enough to delegate my limited time, energy, money to? Is it important enough to me as a person to put my energy into? Is it important to who I am, what I value, what I believe in?
Everything requires time and energy. Even just deciding to watch TV and eat Cheetos for 3 hours in the evening is a decision that requires your dedication of time and energy (and money, those Cheetos don't grow on trees!)
A higher form of motivation is found in connecting your desire to what's important, and keying that into those small choices and decisions every day -- baby steps.
Everyone I talk to agrees -- we all want a great life. One that involves makes sense, feels good, feels important, and is able to let us love ourselves as much as we love others. And while the investment of time and energy and money to get such a life is inevitable, the return on the investment is incredible.
Don't look at people who are full of joy and love and peace and have great lives and think they are just lucky, or married money, or are smarter than you. Anyone who wants a great life can get there. With the right higher motivation, and the right amount of effort, anyone who wants a great life can get there. You CAN do it too!
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About the Author
Kathy Gates is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach in Scottsdale AZ who specializes in finding happiness in daily life. If you liked this article, you'll love her "7 S.E.C.R.E.T.S. to a Great Life " coaching program. She will coach you via email or telephone, your choice. Start Creating Your Happier Life Today! by visiting REAL LIFE COACH.com.
