ave you accomplished all of your desires? I'm guessing that you haven't because you're reading this article. By the way, neither have I. One of the things that happens in our lives is that once we accomplish a goal we also accomplish a measure of personal growth and then we'll set ourselves a more challenging goal.
The key words in the previous paragraph are "personal growth". I will explain what I mean. The only goals we can accomplish are the ones we truly believe we're capable of accomplishing. I'm sorry friend but without the belief, it isn't going to happen.
Our beliefs come from our heart, not our head. In our head it is easy to affirm that something will be and I am a great believer in the power of positive thinking. But... that is thinking, not feeling or believing.
So what is it that is causing these limiting beliefs? How can we get rid of them? It is my belief that these limiting beliefs are caused by fear. Specifically fear of success, or fear of failure.
Time for an exercise. Let's put the following 8 words in the order of our fears. Commitment, Responsibility, Growing Up, Confrontation, Rejection, Not Measuring Up, Loss, and Change.
Ok, proceed as follows - Which do you fear more? Commitment or Responsibility. Take your choice and continue to compare to the next word then the next. When you are finished the word you end up with is your number 1 fear. Continue with the second word etc until you have ordered the list from 1 to 8 with 1 being your most prevalent fear.
The words Commitment, Responsibility, Growing Up, and Change indicate a core fear of Success. Rejection, Confrontation, Not Measuring Up, and Loss indicate a core fear of Failure.
Thanks you say, that's good to know but so what?
First you must understand that all fear is future based. You only fear what "could" or "might" happen. So here is the way to address it.
First - Close your eyes and imagine that your fear has just happened to you. For example if you fear confrontation, imagine you have just had a confrontational experience.
Second - Feel the feelings of the experience. Feel absolutely everything you imagine you would feel. Is it anger, guilt, embarrassment? Whatever you are avoiding feeling, feel it in this safe place. Accept whatever you are feeling, don't judge it because it isn't good or bad it just is, just accept it. This is not about fixing - it's about observing stay detached. The more you practice this the easier it becomes.
Third - Accept yourself for who you are. This is the key. Understand that this fear was created at a time when it served you but it is now keeping you from what you desire from life. Accept that it is perfectly ok to have this feeling it does not make you BAD but you no longer need it as it serves you no constructive purpose.
Fourth - Each morning brings new experiences, embrace them. Have you ever planned a vacation? Do you remember the excitement and expectations? The unknown is not to be feared but anticipated. Make life an adventure, something you look forward to. Know that there will be unpleasant times but every experience in life has two sides and you can choose whether you respond (positively) or react (negatively).
Fifth - Now that you have gained a new perspective on your fears from the previous steps you are in a position to choose how you will respond to those fears in the future. I would recommend you focus first on your second or third fear. Gain the confidence you will need to take on number 1. Go out and look for opportunities to address these fears. Without practice, you will not progress.
Dick Ingersoll is sharing what he has learned from his studies in metaphysics, philosophy and spirituality at:
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