Title: Choose happiness and quality of life rather than the partner from Hell
Post by: Daniel Franklin on November 03, 2007, 02:52:17 AM
<H2> Guide to Trauma Free Relationships</H2> Written by Norbert Henke (Counselor/Psychotherapist)(589 words) Singles have to protect and rely on themselves for happiness, decision-making and particularly, when it comes to sex. However, for many singles, sex (or intercourse) becomes a barometer of their self-worth and the amount of love they give to themselves. This can make, in particular, a good hearted, trusting and/or insecure single very emotionally/ physically vulnerable and thus, an easy target for the partner from Hell. Therefore, knowledge and awareness become very crucial and important methods to protect and avoid disaster, a broken heart and other catastrophes. This article is designed to promote awareness as it's topic is part of the psychological foundation of a happy, confident individual. <h4>Everybody is unique. Everybody has inside themselves a beautiful soul</h4>. Visualize that the soul is like a beautiful mosaic, made out of lots of shiny colorful stones. Everybody has a different looking mosaic. At birth, all the stones are still in place. However, as life progresses, certain situations occur, such as traumatic events, abuse, conditional love, conditioning, learned fear, etc. that bring the stones of the young person into disorder. Once they are in disorder, it hurts; we don't feel good, happy and whole. The person who engages with his/her physical and social environment learns, sometimes painfully, to navigate through the obstacle that life has placed in its way.
The feelings of security are thereby very important for the majority of people. Although security and self-preservation is important, people with a good selection of psychological knowledge, streetwise philosophies, good common sense and coping skills developed more emotional resilience and confidence. It seems that those people are less emotional hungry for love and sex (intercourse). Their thinking- mind uses certain beliefs and methods to nourish and protect themselves, instead of relying on emotional food from others. Herbert Bayard Swope must have realized his inner-frustration when he wrote, "I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, that is trying to please everybody". It is one of the core-essentials of the human mind to use and acquire knowledge, information to shape thoughts and belief-systems that enable the individual to emotionally nourish themselves, and of course, prevent danger for self-preservation. In sex it is no different. The man who forces his female partner on to provide more sex to make him feel good, will, maybe subconsciously, make her in control over his happiness. If he does not know to produce his own happiness in his general life, he becomes emotional dependent and moreover, hooked. But is his female partner hooked and dependent on him? Often she is not. Therefore, the man or woman, who is fed up being vulnerable or hurt, must become aware that he /she have choices. Many people don't know that they have choices as their traditions or role-modeling prevents (or retards) to seek for alternative solutions to situations and problems. However, sometimes in life, we are standing on the 'crossroads of life' where we have to make a smart decision, which road would be the smartest road to travel. The thinking-mind makes good smart and streetwise decisions, when the learned knowledge is applied, while the heart guides, feels and follows the way. The thinking mind learns that lust does not automatically represent ever-lasting happiness (or excitement). Entering a relationship with the partner from Hell is a personal choice, but a not very smart one. Your happiness, quality of life and peace of mind are very precious; do not waste those and make sure to value them.
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About the Author
Norbert wants other people to avoid the partner from Hell through using a Smart Sex-Drive. He was borne in Germany and moved to Australia in 1982. Based on his own painful experiences, he wrote the psychology self-help eBook (5o.ooo words)Frohmood's Smart Sex Drive for Singles, which can be found under <H5>http://www.smartsexdriveforsingles.com<;/H5>